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The evidence seems to be growing but now it’s hit a very weird point. Several months ago, reports came out from divorce lawyers that said Facebook was to blame for failed marriages. In a nutshell, spouses were reuniting with old flames, becoming too acquainted with friends of the opposite sex, or meeting new potential partners through Facebook. According to an article in USA Today, the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers says 81% of its members have used or faced evidence from Facebook, MySpace,Twitter and other social networking sites, including YouTube and LinkedIn, over the last five years.

As sad as that is, it’s probably not too shocking. However, the news has continued to get weird. According to an article from Lindsay Robertson of Yahoo! Movies, some women have nearly destroyed their marriages by neglecting their spouses in favor of Twilight-related activities.

It gets weirder. As if that wasn’t enough, apparently FarmVille and World of Warcraft are now to blame for ruined marriages. Men and women are neglecting their spouse and their children in favor of taking care of a virtual farm of fake animals and crops, or fighting mythological creatures in quests on the computer.

While it’s easy to point the finger at Facebook, Twilight, FarmVille, and World of Warcraft, I think we would be pointing the finger in the wrong direction if we passed the blame off on them. While all of those things take up our time and attention, ultimately WE are the ones who choose to spend time on those things. WE choose to get on Facebook. WE choose who we talk to, flirt with, meet up with, and pursue a relationship with. WE choose to spend all day on Twilight message boards. WE choose to give lunch to a virtual cow rather than make lunch for our own children.

When we pass the blame onto a web site or book or game, we’re ultimately removing responsibility from ourselves and placing it on some “thing.”

The truth of the matter is divorce happens because a person or both people fail to live up to their responsibility as a husband or wife. It’s not the fault of Facebook or FarmVille. Those things can be vehicles which help get us off track, but ultimately the responsibility falls on us.

That is why it is so important to have a marriage that is grounded in Christ. If anything else is the basis of our relationship or marriage, we’re building it on a weak foundation.

If you listened to our most recent Brink Podcast , you heard us discuss a new genre that is developing in Christian publishing. It’s actually being called “Christian Vampire Fiction.” If you listened you also heard some strong opinions come out and heard things get a little bit fiery. If you haven’t listened, I encourage you to do so. You can visit www.thebrinkonline.com/podcast or find us on iTunes.

I’d like to add a few more comments and maybe clarify a few things with this post.

First of all, I understand that the vampires in Twilight are not the typical vampires we’ve seen in literature. They have morals, practice abstinence (even if it’s not for the right reasons), and are like “normal” people. But here’s my problem: Vampires have long been considered mythological creatures that represent some type of cultist activity. And as we know, they survive by feeding off the blood of living creatures. So how does that line up with Christian value and virtue? It doesn’t.

Regardless if the vampires are moral human beings or not, when we start mixing elements of mysticism in with Christianity, we’ve created a syncretic approach. Essentially, we are blending 2 systems of belief that do not need to be blended.

So let’s look at this even deeper. What happens when a Christian parent tells his or her teen she can’t read Twilight but she can read the Christian alternative? Essentially that parent is saying “Since this is Christian, it’s okay.” In reality, the parent is telling that teen “If it’s labeled Christian, it’s acceptable.” And the truth of the matter is, something labeled “Christian” could be far misleading than the original brand.

The danger of labeling something as “Christian” is that many people in our world aren’t able to discern things from a biblical worldview. They see the Christian label and accept everything at face value, never once thinking to question what the author might be saying. This has led to a lot of “Christian stuff” that is garbage. From Christian music to Christian publishing, there is a lot of stuff out there that has the “Christian” label but is far from biblical.

Christian Vampire Fiction exemplifies that. Mixing Christianity and mysticism is not acceptable. Parents may think this is harmless, but it’s a gateway to other things.

Look at books like The Secret or The Shack. These books have ideas that actually go against the words of Scripture. However, people in our society read the words of these books as Scripture, accepting everything as truth, simply because it’s labeled “Christian.”

To be honest, if I had a teen who was wanting to read Twilight, I would probably prefer my teen to read Twilight instead of the Christian alternative. Here’s why: I could use Twilight as a teaching tool. We could read the book together and discuss the truth in the book, and also where the book falls short. However, things become much more complicated with a “Christian” version. Not only is the quality of the writing typical poorer, but you also have a “Christian” version that is not quite Christian at all.

We have to be very careful and discerning. “Christian” does not mean God-honoring or even biblical. In fact, it even seems like some “Christian” things are more a mix of religions than anything. And the truth is, we cannot mix religions and worship God.

It starts small, even with a simple book. We HAVE to compare what we do and what we read to the Word of God. We must give it a test and see if it holds up when we look at things through a biblical lens. Even if it’s labeled “Christian,” if it does not fall in line with a biblical worldview, it’s not very “Christian” at all.

If you have a comment or a disagreement or agreement, I ask that you tune into our podcast at www.thebrinkonline.com/podcast first and hear our full argument.

This post might offend some people. If it does, just try to hear me out before you get angry and vow to never read my blog again. I have this theory that there are a lot of things that are popular in this culture simply because we think we’re supposed to like those things. For instance, when I was in high school, some friends and I made up a fake band and started raving about them to some of our other friends. Within a short time, some of our oblivious friends were raving about how awesome that band was. They even claimed to have all their albums and songs. Unfortunately, that band was made up. They simply liked them because some of their friends did.

Just because something makes this list does not mean that you’re a poser and only like it because your friends do. In fact, most things in life are “liked” because of a chain reaction. I truly believe that there are genuine fans of these shows, movies, products, etc. The following list (in no particular order) contains things that I think our society has overrated, simply because people think they’re supposed to like those things.

1. Coldplay
And here come the hateful comments. I do think a lot of people like Coldplay for their music. However, I think a lot of people buy into Coldplay because “everyone” thinks Coldplay is “cool” and let’s face it, we all want to be cool.

2. Dane Cook
He’s not funny! But somewhere along the way, someone really popular said he liked Dane Cook. And the snowball effect has taken place.

3. Lost
Too soon? I will admit that I’m a fan of Lost. However, sometimes I think Lost gets overhyped because people think they are supposed to be obsessed with it. It’s a great show…but some go just a little bit overboard with it.

4. The New York Yankees
You either love them or hate them…and a lot of people that love them came to love them by jumping on the bandwagon. They’ve almost become more of a fashion accessory than a baseball team. If you see someone wearing a flat-billed cap turned sideways, chances are it’s a Yankees hat.

5. Avatar
It was in 3D. It featured blue people. But is it really a “great” movie? Is it Golden Globe worthy? Academy Award worthy? I think the media made a lot of us buy into this one.

6. Lady Gaga
People call her a freak, yet her music sells. Someone must be buying it. I guess she could be the very opposite of this last and everyone buying her music is a closet fan afraid to admit it.

7. The North Carolina Tar Heels
This one is tough to put on here because I’d like to think of myself as one of the biggest Tar Heel fans on the planet. (I even came home from the hospital wrapped in a Tar Heel blanket when I was born.) However, much like the Yankees, the Heels have become a bandwagon-ridden team. This is mostly in part to Michael Jordan. Nonetheless, there’s a lot of Heels fans out there who are Heels fans simply because they want to fit in with their peers and culture.

8. Kim Kardashian
I’m pretty sure she’s only popular for being popular. Yet Kim, as well as any other “reality-TV” celeb on the E! channel have become overnight sensations. Their shows and stories are pitiful, materialistic, and vain, yet their popular keeps growing. Do we really like this people, or do we simply like them because our friends like them?

9. Hot Wings
This probably applies to guys more than anyone. Wings are a “guy’s” food. And to be honest, they’re good. But there’s a level of pride in guys that says they have to eat the hottest wings possible to keep their standing as “one of the guys.” Anything mild makes them a wuss. So even though they’re mouth is on fire, they’ll swallow their pride (literally) and pretend like everything is fine.

10. Rap music
A lot of people truly enjoy rap music. But a lot of people only listen to it because their friends are listening to it. You know who I’m talking about too. They’re very easy to spot.

11. Alcohol
If none of your friends drank alcohol, would you? Even more, if all of your friends thought alcohol was disgusting and detestable, would you touch it? Probably not. You’d have no need to.

12. The Super Bowl
The Super Bowl is much more than a game these days. It’s 2 weeks of media coverage, and a 3 hour social gathering for most people. There’s nothing wrong with that. In fact, it’s fun for people to get together for the game, even if they care nothing about the game. But since a lot of people show interest in it just to blend in with the crowd, it makes this list.

13. MMA
UFC has a huge following, as well as the rest of MMA. It’s a sport that’s on the rise. But in a sport that’s becoming so popular, you know there has to be a large chunk of the audience that only watch because it’s the “cool” and “manly” thing to do. Also, wearing Tapout and Affliction t-shirts fits in here too.

14. Abercrombie & Fitch
Why do people buy overpriced clothing? Because they’re friends are buying overpriced clothing and because the media says that is what we need to wear to be cool.

15. Dave Matthews Band
See Coldplay

16. American Idol
For many of us, we watch because our friends and co-workers watch. After all, we don’t want to be left without a word during the talk around the water cooler.

17. Political Activism
Whether it’s a fight for social justice or politics, a lot of people take a side they know nothing about and march, protest, complain, etc because that’s what everyone else is doing. This really seems to spring up around election time. If you really want to see it in action, wait until October 2012. Whether people love Obama or hate Obama, they will be out in full force…with absolute ignorance as their guide. Any guesses on how many of those people actually read the newspaper or watch Fox News and/or CNN regularly?

18. President Barack Obama
I’m not bashing or endorsing the president here. However, in many circles, it’s fairly obvious that people make up their opinions about the president based on the opinions of their friends or others in their “social group.” Very few people actually know how to think politically for themselves. Instead, they either hate or love the president based on what they think they are supposed to do to be accepted in certain circles.

19. Twilight
Need I say more?

20. Michael Jackson
It’s sad that Michael Jackson died at an early age. It’s amazing how many people became fans after he died. Some people just couldn’t stand to fall behind a trend.

Thanks for those that contributed. I want to give you credit, but I don’t want to put your name down if you wished to remain anonymous. So, feel free to claim your submission. If there’s anything to add, feel free. If you disagree, I would love to hear about it.

Yesterday I looked over the nominees for the Teen Choice Awards (August 10). Some thoughts came to my mind that I thought I’d share with you. You can agree or disagree…I’m cool with whatever. But I think from just looking at the nominees, we can learn something about today’s teens:

- When it comes to media/art, teens are more concerned with who’s involved, how this applies to my life, what emotions does this bring, and what’s this based on over quality. In the category for Best Drama, the nominees are: Angels & Demons,
Obsessed,
Slumdog Millionaire,
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, and Twilight. While Slumdog Millionaire won the Oscar for Best Picture, and The Curious Case of Benjamin Button was nominated, I predict neither of these films will win. Instead, the nod will go to Twilight, a movie that was ripped by critics. Why? It’s based on a bestselling teen novel, features teen heartthrobs, and proves…

- The world/culture of a teenager is very different from other demographics. Twilight is leading the way with 12 Teen Choice nominations. Second place a tie with High School Musical 3, Miley Cyrus, and Gossip Girl all having 10 nominations. All of these nominations provide examples of fads that are “hot right now” but probably won’t be in 5 years. Vampires are in. The HSM phenomenon is still big. Miley/Hanna Montana still appeals to tweens. Gossip Girl is a recycled teen drama that was popular 10 years ago but probably won’t be popular 5 years from now. 10 years from now…maybe. Teen culture is all about what’s hot right now. These trends fade very fast! Teens catch em for a short time, and then wave goodbye to them as yesterday’s news. The rest of life doesn’t seem to move quite as fast as the world of teens.

- Teens are drawn into things that appear old than they are. In the movie category of Best Bromantic Comedy (yes, that’s a category), the nominees are: I Love You Man, Role Models, Marley & Me, Pineapple Express, and Tropic Thunder. If you look carefully, 4 out of the 5 movies are rated R. Technically, teenagers are supposed to be 17+ to see R-rated movies in the theater. However, 80% of the nominees for the Teen Choice Awards are R-rated. Cute and fun comedies don’t appeal to teens as much as the raunchy stuff that college students are seeing. Let’s face it: the average teenage guy would rather see a movie like The Hangover (featuring nudity, sex, drug references, etc.) than Paul Blart (a cheesy/clean comedy with Kevin James).

- Teens are caught in a match of tug-of-war between being a kid and being an adult. This is definitely seen in the nominees for Best TV Show Comedy (Hannah Montana, How I Met Your Mother, iCarly, The Office, and Ugly Betty) and Best TV Animated Show (Family Guy, American Dad, South Park, The Simpsons, and SpongeBob SquarePants). Take a look at that contrast. When it comes to comedies, Hannah Montana is lined up right next to How I Met Your Mother. Are a Disney show comedy and a CBS comedy anything alike? Not at all. Look at the choices for TV Animated Show. You’ve got SpongeBob Squarepants thrown in with Family Guy and South Park. While these awards obviously deal with teens from 13-18, it still shows the battle teens face between being a kid and being an adult (and possible the differences between a 13 year old and 18 year old). Teens are in a weird stage in life. They don’t quite know where they fit in with school, church, life, relationships, friendships, etc.

So today (November 19) is my birthday! I am now officially 24. Today has been a great day so far! I’ve had about 3 billion people tell me “Happy Birthday” on Facebook, and another 1.67 billion thru text. Today at RH, we had a big Thanksgiving lunch. Great food! We also got our Christmas bonuses. It was over 5X what I expected, so that was a nice surprise. Oh, and RH also gave us an 8 lb ham! How sweet is that? Tonight I’m going to dinner and a movie with my wonderful girlfriend, and I’m sure there are more surprises in store. 

Anyway, to have some fun, I thought I would put together a “Hopeful Birthday List.” We all have lists we put together for our birthdays and Christmas with things we want. I thought I’d put something like that together for this birthday, but in a different style. I’m not griping or complaining or being ungrateful for this birthday. This has been an AWESOME birthday. Hopefully you’ll see the fun I’m trying to have.

My Birthday List:

- 10 lbs of fat turned into 10 lbs of muscle

- An MVP for Kurt Warner

- Earmuffs that block out all of the Twilight talk (and now I’ve angered every teen and tween in the world) Read more…