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When I was in high school, some of my fellow students referred to their parents as the “cool” parents. It had nothing to do with time that was spent together, wise teaching, or provision. In fact, the opposite was true. These parents were the “cool” parents because they bought their kids alcohol, let them host wild parties, and even allowed boyfriends and girlfriends to sleep over. They were “cool” because they matched the same worldly maturity level of their kids. 

The truth of the matter is these parents were anything but “cool.” In fact, they were a hindrance to their teen’s maturity and even put them in harm’s danger. Their relationship with their teen was actually better characterized with words like “neglect” and “irresponsibility.”

Unfortunately, too many of these detrimental relationships exist. Rather than seeing the importance of the parent-child relationship, many parents prefer to be their teen’s best friend and forfeit the responsibilities of a parent. In many regards, it’s easier that way. The drudgery of discipline can take a backseat and life can be enjoyed as BFFs (best friends forever). However, this lack of parenting is not only wrong in its appearance; it is unbiblical.

In Deuteronomy 6, we are given very specific instructions on how parents should raise children. The passage says nothing about dressing like your teen, talking like your teen, or making sure you give in to your teen’s every demand to avoid problems. Instead, the passage says parents are responsible for teaching their children the ways of God. They are called to be the spiritual leaders in the home and impress God’s Word upon the hearts of their children.

Being a spiritual leader in the home may not be “cool” by teenage standards, but it’s a demand from God. Parents need to uphold that message through teaching, encouraging, disciplining, and rebuking their children when necessary. While it may not always seem desirable, the long-term benefits far outweigh what’s happening now.