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Today marks the 3rd and final day for my discussion on modesty. Instead of writing more of my own opinions, I thought I would share with you some actual statistics. Alex and Brett Harris of TheRebelution.com put together a Modesty Survey Team to collect results on the issue of modesty. Over 200 Christian girls submitted their questions. In less than 20 days, 1,600 guys responded.

I’m not going to go too in-depth with this. If you want to check out the entire survey, you can read the results by clicking here or by clicking the banner at the top of the page. I just want to provide you with a few statistics that were eye-opening to me:

For this format, a statement was made, and guys answered if they Strongly Agreed, Agreed, were Neutral, Disagreed, or Strongly Disagreed. I’ve broken down the answers a little bit more. Remember, girls asked the questions. Guys answered. The percentages reflect the answers of the guys.

Don’t forget…when guys said that something is a stumbling block, they were literally saying it is something that causes them to lust/sin.

Guys notice whether a girl dresses modestly or not: 96.3% agreed

Seeing even an inch of skin between the bottom of a girl’s shirt and her pants is a stumbling block: 71.3% agreed

You have less respect for an immodest girl than for a modest one: 75.6% agreed

Wearing pants with words across the backside is a stumbling block: 84.3% agreed

Zipping a form-fitting jacket to just below the chest draws too much attention to the bust: 56.8% agreed

It is okay for girls to wear tighter and/or more revealing clothes if they are working out: 52.4% disagreed

Showing any cleavage is immodest: 70.4% agreed.

Bending over so that cleavage is visible down the front of the shirt or dress is a stumbling block: 89.8% agreed

Skin-tight jeans are a stumbling block: 76.2% agreed

A girl’s physical posture and/or position can be a stumbling block: 84.7% agreed

The lines of undergarments, visible under clothing, cause guys to stumble: 71.6% agreed

A girl’s underwear should never show: 89.5% agreed

A girl bending over and exposing her lower back is a stumbling block: 63.6% agreed

A shirt buttoned to just under the bust is a stumbling block, even if a modest shirt is worn underneath: 41.6% agreed

Knee-length skirts are modest: 71.8% agreed

Miniskirts are immodest: 93.1% agreed

Seeing a girl stretching (e.g. arching the back, reaching the arms back, and sticking out the chest) is a stumbling block: 56.8% agreed

Today is Part II of my discussion on modesty. Yesterday I discussed modesty for girls. Today, I’m discussing modesty for guys. I’m really excited about tomorrow’s blog. Alex and Brett Harris, authors of Do Hard Things, founds of www.therebelution.com, and all around great guys have done some extensive research on modesty. Some of the results might shock you. I’m going to share some of their results tomorrow. Don’t miss it. But now…onto the guys…

We often don’t think about modesty when it comes to guys, but it’s a very real issue. For instance, just look in a catalogs for Abercrombie & Fitch. No wait! Don’t!!! It’s pretty close to soft core porn. Everyone in the magazines has shirts off and they’re all wearing visible underwear of some sort. And I don’t think I have to tell you that none of the people in the catalogs look like Ruben Studdard or Rosie O’Donnell. Some stores even have shirtless guys standing outside or inside to attract female attention. 

Although females tend to be less visual than males, they are not completely exempt from being tempted by lust. Guys, whether through ignorance or even purpose, we can be stumbling blocks to girls. If you’ve ever been to the gym, think about the guys you see there. Are they only there to workout? Are they only there because they want to get in great shape? A lot of guys go to the gym simply to impress women. And very few of these guys workout in long-sleeve t-shirts or sweatshirts. Usually it’s minimal clothing or something that shows off muscles and form. Need more evidence? Just look around at a public pool. Just like girls try to entice men with dress, men do the same thing. Granted, guys are a lot less successful at pulling it off, but it still happens. Guys can be stumbling blocks to women.

Another failure of guys is that we do very little to help promote modesty in women. It’s hard to endorse modesty when we speak of girls being “hot” or “sexy.” When we treat women like objects and not like individuals made in God’s image, we devalue modesty. Why would a girl want to dress modest if guys only notice skins who show lots of skin? Sadly, we don’t send a message of value. With the way we act and talk, we tell girls that we only like girls that show cleavage, their stomachs, have dark tans, bleached blonde hair, and specific tattoos and piercings. We don’t endorse modesty; we endorse promiscuity and provocative dressing.  

Almost any girl will tell you that she’d rather be called “beautiful” than “hot.” Almost any girl will also tell you she’d rather be loved for her beautiful personality rather than her sexy looks. The sad thing is guys are sending out a message that says, “We don’t care about your personality or your modesty. We only care about what drives our hormones.” 

Guys, if we want girls to uphold modesty, we must endorse it and live it ourselves. We can’t expect girls to dress and act in a way that glorifies God if our minds are focused on the girls in the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition.

The root of the matter goes back to sin. Lust is a rampant problem with guys. Yes, girls should do their part by dressing in a modest fashion, but guys, even if they don’t, we have a responsibility to keep our minds pure and keep our eyes away from the things that cause us to sin. In Job 31, Job said he made a covenant with his eyes not to look lustfully at another woman. That’s not some superhero ability. That’s not something only reserved for saints. That’s not something that only applied in the Old Testament. That should be and needs to be the covenant of every man!

Guys, not only do we need to dress modestly, but we need to give girls a reason to dress modestly. Even if that’s not taking place, we have a responsibility to be holy and keep our minds pure. In many ways it’s an equal partnership between males and females. While it is more difficult if one gender doesn’t keep to their end of the deal, we’re all required to live lives that glorify and honor God with our entire being.

On Sunday night, my pastor continued with his series on the Sermon on the Mount. One great thing about preaching a series is that when you come to a controversial passage, you can preach it and no one can complain about you singling them out. One bad thing about preaching a series is that when you come to a controversial passage, you have to preach it!

Sunday night’s message came from Matthew 5:27-30 and focused on the topic very few people like to talk about, Lust and Adultery. 

The pastor said many things that have resonated in my head, but one that rises to the top is: “Window shopping can be very dangerous!” Read more…