If you’ve ever had a “first date,” you know they can be nerve-wracking. You also know we’ve all done some dumb stuff on first dates that could make for great TV or a great book. For those teens (or even freshman college students..ahem) here are a few tips on how to ruin a first date:
1. Ask the Person Out 10 Minutes After Meeting Him/Her
If you try this technique, you might not even make it to a first date. Asking someone out so quickly implies 1 of 2 things, or both: (1) I’m only asking you out because of your physical attractiveness; and/or (2) If you get to know me anymore you’ll know I’m a huge loser and someone you shouldn’t be dating so I have to take my chances right now before it’s too late.
2. Ask the Person Out Through a Text Message or Facebook
Enough said.
3. Show up Late
Guys, if you want to start out in style, show up no earlier than 30 minutes late. Make her wait awhile. Make her wonder where you are. If she calls, don’t answer…it builds anticipation. Oh, and flowers…don’t bother. They’ll die soon anyway. And why open a car door when she’s perfectly capable of doing it herself? Girls, don’t be ready when the guy gets there. There’s nothing we like better than sitting in your parents’ living room with your dad for 30 minutes while you get ready.
4. Dress to Impress Standout
Guys, definitely go with tacky clothing. Maybe a nice tuxedo shirt will work. How about those dirty tennis shoes with no laces. Maybe even a pair of Crocs. Don’t shave, don’t shower, and definitely don’t wear deodorant. You can always cover it up with a full can of Axe. Girls, wear something very provocative. There’s no better way to ruin a date than to get the guy’s mind in the gutter right away…as well as every other guy that passes by. Make yourself feel special and try to attract the attention of everyone else in the world.
5. Eat Dinner at a Buffet
Let her know that since you’re on a tight budget and can’t afford her ordering steak, you’re taking her to a buffet so she can eat all she wants. After all, you’ve heard how much she can eat! Bonus tip: Forget your wallet at home!
6. Talk About Your Ex
If you talk about your failed past, you won’t even have to use words like rebound or fling. Your stories will imply that for you. You might as well make that date feel unspecial and insignificant right away. After all, they need to know they have to share your heart with someone else.
7. Go for the First Kiss
Wait! A kiss on a first date could ruin the date? Well, in theory a “kiss” may not seem so disastrous, but saying “I can’t control my emotions or hormones enough to wait until later in the relationship for this moment” should tell you something about the person you’re dating.
8. Drop the “M” Bomb (Marriage)
Yes, we live in a fast-food drive-thru era, but 2 hours does NOT equal long-term commitment. If you want to end things quickly, pull out your wedding book and start talking about the color for your tux’s or bridesmaids’ dresses. Maybe even bring your parents along for the date.