Sending Mixed Signals to the Opposite Sex
Author: DavidJones // Category: Ethics, Pop Culture, Sports
I’m tired of hearing about Brett Favre.
I was tired of hearing about him when he retired. I was tired of hearing him when he came out of retirement. I was tired of hearing about him when he retired again. I was tired of hearing about him when he came out of retirement again. I was tired of hearing about him when he contemplated retirement again.
If having ESPN dominated by “Will he or won’t he?” stories was not enough, several weeks ago a scandal broke with Favre at the center.
(If you are not familiar with the story, I am purposely withholding certain details because of their graphic nature.)
The scandal that broke alleged that Brett Favre had sexually harassed Jenn Sterger, a reporter who worked for the New York Jets when Favre was their quarterback.
Within hours of the allegations, the Internet was flooded with suspicion of a possible suspension for Favre. Favre’s wife, who recently wrote a book, became a commodity for morning talk shows and magazine interviews. Sterger, the one who was allegedly harassed, became the victim in the incident.
Before I continue, please let me say that if the allegations have any truth to them at all, then Favre is in the wrong, both as a person and as a husband. Harassment is never right in any situation and cannot be justified nor can excuses be made.
Please keep those previous statements in mind when you read what I am about to say next. While people had no problem pointing the finger at Favre and condemning him for his (alleged) behavior, I was surprised that very little was said about Sterger. From all reports, it appears that Sterger did not accept the (alleged) advances and even tried to shut them down, which is what a person should do. She also is not the one to come forth with the allegations. That credit belongs to a trash sports tabloid site. However, Sterger’s background may provide a learning opportunity and teachable moment even more than Favre’s.
While Sterger is often referred to as a reporter and TV show host, she also has less credible things on her resume. Sterger has appeared in publications that are considered “pornography” and “soft-core pornography.” She also received plastic surgery to try to help her with her career. In addition, Sterger is known for wearing revealing clothing on camera, including during her days with the Jets.
Before you start thinking I’m running to the defense of Brett Favre, let me be quick to say that’s not happening. Harassment in any shape or form is wrong. Regardless of dress, talk, and action, no one should ever be harassed. This includes verbal, physical, and sexual harassment. Harassment is wrong. End of story.
Here is the point I am finally getting at and why this post is labeled “Sending Mixed Signals to the Opposite Sex.” When Jenn Sterger posed for pornographic magazines and underwent surgery to try to help her career, what message was she sending to guys? What kind of guys did she think she would attract? When a girl poses in a pornographic magazine, she’s not sending the message of “I’m a professional. I’m an intellectual. I respect myself.” Instead, she’s sending the message of, “I’m an object. I adore the attention of men. I’m using my body to gain attention. I am making money off of the lust of others.”
This absolutely boggles my mind. No woman wants to be harassed, used, or taken advantage of. Yet why do women present themselves in a way that screams, “I’m an object. Desire me for what’s on the outside, not the inside.” It seems that some women crave attention to such an extent that they’re willing to sacrifice their values and integrity just to be noticed. It’s sad. It’s sickening. It’s a double standard.
Now this does NOT excuse men for lustful thoughts, harassment, or improper conduct. Men, if we lust after a woman or harass a woman, it is a sin and a very severe sin. No matter how a woman dresses or acts, we are to remain pure in thought and action. If we cross the line, it is OUR sin.
But women, when you present yourselves in a way that is immodest, indecent, and even pornographic, what are you expecting to happen? In an extreme sense, you’re inviting harassment to take place. Put in a milder way, you’re being a stumbling block to men everywhere. And for what? To get noticed? To get a better job? To gain the eye of a man who only sees you for your body? It makes no sense.
Many times we think we have two lives: we have a professional life, and then we have our personal life. In many ways, we don’t want the two to overlap. We want to be like an actor in a movie, stepping on the set, playing a part, and then walking away from all of it hours later and becoming someone else. The truth is, we can’t have it both ways. We don’t get to live a compartmentalized life.
There are too many mixed signals in the world. Guys send them to women. Women send them to guys. Sometimes we think we know what we want, but we don’t always like the consequences of our decisions. That’s why it’s so important to decide now what you want to be later. If you want to be a person of integrity who is respected, start acting that way now. Don’t waste your life today and expect everything to fall into place tomorrow.
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