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I’ll be honest. When I read most devotions from single people about how they’ve struggled to find contentment being single and yet finally found their contentment in God, I’m a little skeptical. No, I’m not skeptical that God brings contentment, and no I’m not questioning their faith. But when I read many of those thoughts on contentment, what I read is anything but contentment. By the end of the reading, the question in my mind is typically “Are you trying to convince me you’re content with being single, or are you trying to convince yourself? Cause neither is happening!”

In some ways I consider myself an expert at being single. I’ve been this way for about 25 years. That’s enough time to get a few Ph.D’s. However, in no way am I an expert at telling people how to survive the single life or find contentment in life. But along the way, I’ve picked up a few pointers from observations, mistakes, successes,  talking with married people, and talking with single people that seem to help. Here’s a few of those ideas:

1. Do NOT try to find your contentment in the opposite sex. This one is obvious, right? We’ve heard this since high school and we know this in our minds, right? Yes and no. We can recite this “law of dating,” but very few people live it out. I’m amazed everyday at how many twentysomethings are so dependent on dating relationships with the opposite sex. When we become single, it’s like someone kidnapped us and dropped us out of a plane right in the middle of Ethiopia. Everything is foreign, we don’t know how to react, we don’t know how to cope, nothing seems to make sense anymore, and we do everything we can to find some form of familiarity. If you’re dating and you seek to find all your contentment in your relationship, you’re going to be disappointed whether you’re single or maybe even in a relationship. I’m willing to be the same is true for marriage. So you’re single…okay. Does this diminish your self-worth or value? It shouldn’t. Unfortunately in today’s culture, that’s exactly what happens.

2. Focus on holiness now, and not later. We often look to the future and think about the type of boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife, father/mother we want to be. However, have you ever considered that your holiness as a single adult now could affect the type of spouse/parent you become later? We should begin preparing for marriage and parenthood now by focusing on being the person God wants us to be. When you get married, the temptations and sins you struggle with aren’t going to disappear. I’m willing to bet some of your temptations will even be magnified. Guys, work on sexual purity now. Fight through the struggle to control your thought life. Ladies, be mindful of gossip. (Sidenote: When girls gossip and talk about people behind their back, it’s a huge turnoff to guys) Work on being holy now. It will affect who you are later.

3. Bring chivalry back from the dead. Guys, open doors for ladies. Be polite around them. Say “please” and “thank you.” Mind your manners. Compliment them. Ladies, encourage us. Notice when we’re trying. Simple things go a long way.

4. Have more on your mind than just the opposite sex. When we attend a social event, even at a church, it’s usually pretty obvious who is trying to find a boyfriend/girlfriend and who is actually there for the right reasons. Girls are pretty good at picking out the overflirtacious guy who is looking for a girl…any girl. Likewise, guys can see through the charades and find the girls who are interested in one thing and one thing only: marriage! And usually…that makes us run! So whether it’s church, a get-together at someone’s house, or any type of activity, have more on your mind and mouth than the opposite sex.

5. Enjoy the single life. Sure being married has its benefits, but so does being single. As a single twentysomething, you have so many freedoms at your disposal. Enjoy life. Hang out with friends. Make a difference in the community. Start a new hobby. Go on a road trip. What the TV shows you want to watch. Invite people over.

By now I’m sure almost everyone has heard about the flooding taking place in Nashville. However, due to the Times Square bomb plot and the oil spill, the news of the flood has taken second page. To say that things in Nashville are absolutely devastating is not an exaggeration. Thousands of people have lost their homes, businesses have been destroyed, nearly 30 people have been killed, churches are damaged, schools are near destruction, downtown Nashville is underwater, people are unaccounted for, the city is running out of clean drinking water, shelters are at capacity, and tens of thousands of people are without power at least until Friday. We can’t even start the cleanup efforts yet because the waters have not completely receded. We desperately need your help!

If you would like to help in some way, here are a few of the ways you can help:

1. Text REDCROSS to 90999. This will make a $10 donation to the Nashville Red Cross. You can also donate money at www.nashvilleredcross.org

2. Donate your time or money to Hands on Nashville. You can visit their website at www.hon.org. If you are looking for a place to work and help out, they can find a place for you, even if it’s just for 1 hour or even 1 week. From physical labor to mental health, we need everything right now.

3. If you live in the Nashville area, please conserve water. Some places do not have water, and reports are that some places have discolored water. Please do not wash your car, wash your dishes, or water your lawn right now. When taking a shower, try to make it quick. Do your best to consume half of the water you usually would.

4. If you attend a church in Nashville, tithe your income and then some. Let’s be honest, if everyone in the church tithed, we could fix all of our churches quickly. But that’s just not the case anywhere. Studies show a minority of people in the church actually tithe. If you don’t tithe, please think about starting right now. Tithe to the church, and then give above and beyond that. We’re a very rich nation. Compared to other countries, we have it very good. However, when we refuse to give our money to the church, the needy, or other needful organizations or countries, we’re basically saying our luxuries are more important than someone else’s needs. Give generously right now.

5. Donate food, clothing, bottled water, etc. Contact an organization like the Red Cross or Hands on Nashville and see if there is a specific need you can meet. Many people have lost everything in the flood. They need clothes to wear and food to eat. It won’t be long before organizations run out of these supplies.

6. Pray. Our city needs it.

If anyone else knows of ways to help, please post them on here.

The picture above is of downtown Nashville. The picture below is I-24 at Bell Road–the exit for my apartment.

Cars are frustrating. When they’re running fine, they’re great. When they’re not, they’re a pain. Very few people know how to fix cars, and some that do try to rip you off. Others think they know how but really don’t. Doesn’t it seem like car insurance should cover all car problems? Health insurance covers me when I need a checkup, medication, or surgery. Can’t car insurance do the same? I sure pay enough for it, and haven’t had to file a claim yet. Does this rambling sound like an essay from a 4th grader yet? I hope so. All I want is for my car to pass its emissions test so I can pay $79.00 and get my tags. Is that too much to ask? I’m done.

Over the past couple of weeks, so many people have been praying for my family and offering up words of encouragement. I’ve tried to get back to some through text and Facebook but I know I’ve missed some. So first off, let me say thank you to everyone for their prayers for my family. The past few weeks have been rough, but your prayers have made a tremendous difference. Also, thank you for all the help with transportation, food, cards, etc. The love has been overwhelming!

Let me try to give a quick background and update for this who are wondering:

On December 20 my dad went to Urgent Care because of what he thought was a rapidly spreading rash below his belly button. When the doctor saw it, she immediately sent him to the ER by ambulance. What he thought was a rash turned out to be a serious infection. When my dad got to the ER, they told him about the severity of the infection and told him the infection and the needed surgery could very well be life-threatening. As we found out later, it was a staph infection (MRSA). The doctor thought they might have to cut out a major section of skin and then go back and do skin grafts later on, which would be incredibly dangerous and would involve an incredibly long recovery. They put him in ICU.

Thankfully, the doctor decided to put my dad on antibiotics and see what happened. However, if the infection spread in the least bit, he was going to do surgery immediately. Thankfully, the infection did not spread through Sunday night. The doctor decided to wait another 24 hours. As time progressed, the antibiotics seemed to kick in and begin to work. The redness seemed to go down and the area began to slowly get smaller.

On Monday afternoon, the doctors decided there was no flesh-eating bacteria in the infection and they felt the infection would not be fatal. After a couple days, my dad was moved to a regular room. The infection continued to get better and finally, the surgeon came in and drained the infection. This was very painful for my dad because he had to cut on infected skin. I’ll leave out the gory details but basically he stuck his finger down in the wound and pulled out a lot of the junk in there. Yes, still gory. At that point, gauze had to be packed inside the wound so it could heal from the inside out. This meant it had to be pulled out and packed again 2-3 times a day to get all of the infection out.

If you have not been through this, it is EXTREMELY PAINFUL. I had to endure it in high school. What my dad had was much worse. My dad was in the hospital for 10 days total but got to come home with a pic line in place on December 29. Since then, he has been getting antibiotics through an IV and my mom has been replacing the gauze in the wound a couple times a day. Yes, he says it’s still painful.

Thankfully, the doctor took the pic line out today and said my dad can take oral antibiotics. He’s happy with the progess that’s being made and they expect a full recovery. My dad is itching to go back to work on Monday.

Once again, thank you to everyone for everything. I’d ask that you still continue in your prayers because there is still a little ways to go in this. But God has been faithful through all of this and we have truly felt his love and peace as well as the love of others around us.

As a sidenote, I’d really appreciate it if people would bring exercise equipment instead of food next time. There was not one bad dish or dessert. It was all delicious and therefore has caused me to gain 15 lbs in the last week.

We all have Christmas songs that just annoy the mess out of us. Here’s a list of 10 that I could do without. You may disagree with me, but oh well. It’s my list

10. “Deck the Halls”
It may be a classic, but have you ever looked at the words. I don’t understand what half the song means, and the other half is littered with “fa la la’s.” And I know the meaning of words change over the course of time, but I really don’t want to “don” my “gay apparel.”

9. “All I Want for Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth”
The song sounds like the kid from Up recorded a Christmas album. This video shows how “goofy” the song actually is:

8. “I Saw Three Ships”
It sounds like an old Irish drinking song and repeats itself over and over and over and over. I’m not not even sure what the song is about, except there were 3 ships, and it was Christmas.

7. “Feliz Navidad”
When every English-only-speaking American knows every single word to the song, it’s time to invent something new. The song is catchy and fun around November 29. By December 24, it’s annoying. Maybe it’s time for us to learn new Spanish songs.

6. “Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer”
Have you read all the lyrics to the song? Grandma gets run over and killed and the family takes it just fine. No big deal. Apparently she was drinking too much egg nog, not taking her medication, and wandering around aimlessly. This song isn’t fun. It’s family neglect! Grandma is dead and no one cares! Very disturbing. Not to mention, it’s backwoods hillbilly music. Here’s a clip from the movie that was based off the song. Yikes!

5. “Baby It’s Cold Outside”
When I heard this song in Elf, I loved it. That was until I read the lyrics. This guy sounds like a total pervert who is bent on seducing the girl in any way possible. Don’t believe me? Check out the lyrics:

I really can’t stay – Baby it’s cold outside
I’ve got to go away – Baby it’s cold outside
This evening has been – Been hoping that you’d drop in
So very nice – I’ll hold your hands, they’re cold as ice
My mother will start to worry – Beautiful, what’s your hurry
My father will be pacing the floor – Listen to the fireplace roar
So really I’d better scurry – Beautiful, please don’t hurry
Well maybe just one drink more – Put some records on while I pour

The neighbors might think – Baby, it’s bad out there
Say, what’s in this drink – No cabs to be had out there

She’s trying to get away. He’s trying to get her to stay. And then comes the kicker: “Say, what’s in this drink?” Did he spike it? Sounds a little concerning to me! Here’s a video featuring Rainn Wilson with a funny take on the song:

4. “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus”
Even though the song is innocent, in the kid’s mind, he just saw his mom cheating on his dad with Santa. But no worries for the boy. Just plenty of laughs. Riiiiiight.

3. “Santa Baby”
When I hear this song, it makes me feel dirty. It seems like it turns Santa and Christmas into something sexual and deviant aka the opposite of what Christmas is about! And sorry…but NO video for this one.

2. “The Little Drummer Boy”
“Pa rum pum pum pum” are not real lyrics. They’re not even words. Well, “rum” is, but that clearly has nothing to do with the song. I don’t know why but this song has always annoyed me. Maybe because it takes a biblical story and adds a fictional character. Maybe because I’m never seen an ox and lamb keep time. Maybe because drums can’t be used in worship (kidding). I don’t know. Here’s a very awkward encounter between Bing Crosby and Davie Bowie:

1. “Christmas Shoes” by Newsong
This is difficult to put on here because I’ve met and talked with the band many times and they are incredible guys and incredible musicians. I love 99% of their music and their concerts are always great. However, this song makes me hate shoes. I’m not big on “feel good” and “make you cry” Christmas songs. Also, if Momma is about to die, shouldn’t the boy be at the hospital and not buying shoes? And doesn’t he know Momma can’t take those shoes to heaven with her? (I’m being ridiculous. Don’t hate me.) Actually hate me if you want, but when “Christmas Shoes” is being performed live in July, I have reason to make it #1 on my list.

There are many other songs that could have made the list, especially if I journeyed outside the realm of “classic” Christmas songs. Things like “Last Christmas” by Wham, “Do They Know It’s Christmas” by Band Aid, and “Please Daddy (Don’t Get Drunk This Christmas)” by John Denver could all make a list somewhere.

What Christmas songs do you find most annoying?

(P.S. The 10 greatest versions of Christmas songs coming tomorrow)

A couple weeks ago I took a few shots at my gender with my post entitled “Don’t Be That Guy!” Well ladies, today it’s your turn. Without further ado, I give you “Don’t Be That Girl.”

The girl who trashes Britney Spears…and dresses just like her—don’t be that girl.

The girl who wears stiletto heels and a miniskirt to a baseball game–don’t be that girl.

The girl who thinks showing cleavage is a God-given right–don’t be that girl.

The girl who thinks Twilight should be nominated for Best Movie Ever–don’t be that girl.

The girl who breaks up with a guy so she can “date God” but dumps God 2 weeks later so she can date a different guy–don’t be that girl.

The girl who tries to show off her underwear in a way that looks like she stuck a slingshot down the back of her pants–don’t be that girl.

The white girl who actually thinks she looks good dancing and singing to rap–don’t be that girl.

The girl who only goes on dates cause she’s low on money and needs a free meal–don’t be that girl.

The girl who thinks she can actually sympathize with characters on Sex and the City–don’t be that girl.

The girl who thinks Katy Perry and Lady Gaga are disgusting but knows every word to their songs–don’t be that girl.

The girl who texts more than talks during a date–don’t be that girl.

The girl who has no problem proving she can out-burp any guy–don’t be that girl.

The girl who has her wedding date picked out before she’s met her groom–don’t be that girl.

The girl who constantly talks about her old boyfriend while with her new boyfriend–don’t be that girl.

Any girl who has ever said a Lifetime movie was “well done” or “deserves a sequel”–don’t be that girl.

The girl whose Christmas lists consists of the words “Prada” or “Coach”–you won’t be my girl!

The girl who thinks Matthew McConaughey is a good actor–don’t be that girl.

The girl who constantly says “Well at least you don’t have to go give birth!”–don’t be that girl.

The girl who can’t believe it’s not butter–just kidding. You can be that girl.

Tomorrow morning I’m headed to Dallas, Texas for the first ever D6 Conference. As an employee of Randall House, I’m honored and excited to be part of this conference. I’m looking forward to the speakers, the interaction with friends, and yes…even working while I’m there.

If you’re at the conference, stop by the D6 Booth and say hi. There’s a good chance I’ll be working it.

See ya in Dallas!

Just wanted to write a simple note and encourage everyone to pray for Pusch (aka Eric Puschmann aka Pastor Pusch). He’s been in the hospital for a couple days and can use our prayers. Praying for you Pusch!

A few days ago, the Los Angeles Times reported a story that, unfortunately, is not very surprising. However, for many parents it might be. According to the story, in many ways parents are clueless as to what their teens are doing on social networks. The survey polled 1,013 teens and 1,002 parents. Here’s some of the results they found:

• 37% of teens said they used social networks to make fun of other students, but only 18% of parents believe their own angels do so.
• 13% of teens said they posted naked or semi-naked photos or videos of themselves. Only 2% of parents said their kids have done that.
• 24% of teens said they signed on to someone else’s account without permission, while only 4% of parents said their kids have done that.
• 28% of teens posted personal information that they normally would not have revealed in public, but 16% of parents said their kids did that.

It’s very important that parents understand what their teens are doing online. Many parents don’t want to invade the “privacy” of their teen, but it’s also important that parents keep their teen safe and away from illegal or potentially dangerous actions. It’s one thing for a teen to take Facebook quiz called “What Twilight star am I?” It’s another for a teen to post naked or sexually suggestive pictures and/or personal information such as a cell phone number or home address.

Many parents will want to see these stats and think, “That’s disturbing. But my kid isn’t involved in that.” Seems like the majority of the 1,002 parents said the same thing. Look how many of them were wrong.

To read the full story, click here: What Parents Think Teens Are Doing on Social Networks and What the Teens Are Actually Doing

Before I deleted my MySpace page, if you went to the section marked “Heroes” you would see a variance of names. Some were former youth pastors that had a major impact on my life. Some were family members that made a difference for me. Others were the all-too-typical answers of musicians and athletes.

As I’ve gotten older, my idea of a “hero” has changed. Some of these people are still the same. I still consider my parents, my Truth and Peace leaders, former youth pastors and pastors, and mentors to be my heroes. However, the list of celebrities has changed and been replaced by people that are closer to me and even younger.

While I was reading Francis Chan’s book Crazy Love he asked a question that made me stop and think. To paraphrase, Chan asked: What are you doing right now in life that requires you to step out in faith?

For most of us, that question would be unanswerable. We live in our nice homes/apartments, have multiple TVs with cable, DVR or Tivo, and cars that work. We have a close group of friends that we’re comfortable with so we don’t venture out to meet new people who are different than us. Even though our paychecks might not be what we want them to be, we still live beyond our basic necessitities and don’t give much thought to giving to others in a way that squeezes our pockets. In a sense, we don’t make sacrifices. Let’s be honest: giving $10 to missions is probably not a real sacrifice on our part if we’re about to spend $40 on lunch later in the day.

The more I thought about this, the more I realized I DO know people living with faith, through faith, and in faith. I do know people making sacrifice after sacrifice because their faith has impacted the way they live on a daily basis. Thankfully, I’m lucky to call these people my friends.

Who are these people? It’s the couple who has poured their blood, sweat, and tears into a small Nashville church in a troubled community. There’s no paycheck and there’s not much appreciation from people. In fact, they’ve faced the opposite. However, they continue to do what God has called them to do. It’s the friends that have spent their summer working overseas in France and China, training and preparing to travel abroad and share God’s love with those who do not know Him. It’s the friend spending the next 11 months in China because her heart is absolutely burdened for the people. It’s the couple on Laos and the couple in Mongolia, giving up their comfortable lives to serve people who are lost and do not know Christ. It’s the couple that moved away from home to attend seminary in a brand new city in order to further their education to be more effective tools for God’s serve. It’s the incredible girl that just left Nashville to teach in St. Croix because her heart has been heavy for the people and the island for many years.

These people have stepped out in faith. They’re not waiting until a certain age. In fact, all of them are under 30. They’re being faithful to what God has called them to do.

These people are my heroes.