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If you happen to be one of the brave who journeys out Thanksgiving night and into Friday morning to buy Gigli on Blu-Ray for $7.99 or a Coby DVD player for $39.99, chances are you will hear a store employee utter those two little infamous words: “Happy Holidays.”

Some see this as a polite greeting and meet it with a smile and return the gesture with a similar expression. However, when some hear those two little words their blood begins to boil and the evolution of Bruce Banner into the Incredible Hulk takes place right in the checkout line at Macy’s. Why do those words cause so much anger? Maybe because we think “Happy Holidays” has become a substitute for “Merry Christmas.”

While some may disagree with me entirely, the phrase “Happy Holidays” does not bother me. Here are 3 reasons why:

1. We’re in the middle of 3 “holidays”
The 5 weeks between November 24 and January 1 give us 3 different holidays. November 24 is Thanksgiving. December 25 is Christmas. And January 1 is New Year’s Day. When someone tells you “Happy Holidays” it doesn’t necessarily mean he or she is saying “I’m being politically correct and taking Christ out of Christmas.” Maybe he or she is just saying an abbreviated version of “I hope you had a great Thanksgiving, have a great Christmas, and have a great New Year.” After all, holidays is plural, so it’s inferring more than one. Think about the song, “We Wish You a Merry Christmas.” We don’t cut off the last line and say, “We wish you a Merry Christmas and…yeah, that’s it.” So before you get too upset, consider that the phrase “Happy Holidays” may not be an attack on your spiritual beliefs; maybe it’s just a way to incorporate all 3 holidays into 1.

2. “Happy Holidays” is a friendly greeting
I doubt there are many people in this world who utter “Happy Holidays” just to stir up trouble. Sure, groups like the ACLU may try to do it, but for most people saying “Happy Holidays” is a friendly gesture. And let’s be honest, I’ve said it, you’ve said it, and many others have said it without even thinking. When I say it to a friend or a store employee I don’t think, “I don’t want to offend him so I’ll go neutral with my greeting.” No, my actual intent is to genuinely wish someone happiness. So whether you like the phrase or not, remember that the person saying it is likely doing it out of goodwill, not ill-intent.

3. The phrase may have been authorized by a “higher-up”
I hate political correctness as much as anyone, and I honestly don’t like it when I hear people say their managers have warned them against mentioning “Christmas” and have even threatened their jobs. Yes, that bugs me. But it’s important for us to remember that the “higher-ups” may be the ones making that call, not necessarily the employees. Believe it or not, there are retail employees who say “Happy Holidays” who also celebrate Christmas. Before you jump all over the high school kid who is working a seasonal job to pay for college, consider that he or she may only be doing what was asked. If you’re upset, your fight is with management, not the worker.

Everyone is entitled to his or her opinion, and my opinion is that “Happy Holidays” really doesn’t bother me. However, what does bother me is seeing people jump down the throats of the workers who utter that phrase. When you talk back to the 17 year old who works at Best Buy or go off on the 25 year old working at Walmart, you’re doing everything BUT showing the spirit of Christmas…and THAT bothers me!

[Photo source: http://bit.ly/sQNAkk]

This just happened. Simply awesome…

Over two years ago, I came out with the first installment of “Don’t Be That Guy.” (You can view that post by clicking here) Since the time of that post, there have been plenty of things that have made my shake my head and say, “Don’t be that guy!” So, thanks to all the stupid stuff we’ve witnessed, we’ve said, and we’ve done (me especially, I now give you the second installment of “Don’t Be That Guy!”

The guy who rolls up to the gas station, keeps his car running, rolls down his windows, and cracks up the bass of his gansta rap so we can all hear it—don’t be that guy.

The guy who follows every tweet with a passive-aggressive indirect counter-tweet—don’t be that guy.

The guy who is such a close-talker that I can identify his brand of toothpaste…or lack of—don’t be that guy.

The guy who makes fun of Star Wars fanatics but has a house full of sports action figures (“They’re memorabilia!”) —don’t be that guy.

The guy who comes from an upper middle class society but tries to dress homeless—don’t be that guy.

The guy who hasn’t read a book in the last year but can quote the schedule lineup for Spike TV—don’t be that guy.

The guy who is headed to the ER because he had to prove he could eat the hottest chicken wings in existence—don’t be that guy.

The guy who says, “Can I get an RT?” on Twitter—don’t be that guy.

The guy who constantly tells me how awesome his fantasy football team is—don’t be that guy.

The guy who thinks he’s too “manly” to enjoy animated movies—don’t be that guy.

The guy who buys into every Facebook conspiracy he hears (“Facebook will start charging money!” “Facebook is selling your Social Security numbers!”)—don’t be that guy.

The guy who tells me my sports team “stinks” even though they’re in the playoffs and his team finished 22 games out—don’t be that guy.

The guy who refuses to vote or register to vote but still feels entitled to complain about the President or government—don’t be that guy.

The guy who recommended the second and third Transformers movies to me—don’t be that guy.

The guy who orders water at a fast-food restaurant but then fills up his cup with soda—don’t be that guy.

The guy who judges people’s worth by their number of Facebook friends—don’t be that guy.

The guy who doesn’t know the difference between “you’re”, “your”, and “ur”—don’t be that guy.

The guy who defines “turn signal” as “20 inch wheels coming into my lane and forcing me off the road”—don’t be that guy.

The guy who tries to mask his ignorance of important topics by saying “I just don’t think this is a relevant discussion”—don’t be that guy.

Nyjer Morgan—don’t be that guy.

The guy who creates his own nickname—don’t be that guy.

The guy who believes Axe Body Spray is a suitable substitute for a shower—don’t be that guy.

The guy who is barefoot, always playing guitar, and keeps making creepy eye contact with people while playing songs by Dave Matthews Band—don’t be that guy.

The guy who claims, “No, it’s cool! I’m really good at texting while driving”—don’t be that guy.

The guy who thinks replacing the toilet paper roll is as difficult as quantum physics—don’t be that guy.

The guy who follows 4,000 people on Twitter and then unfollows them as soon as they follow him back—don’t be that guy.

The guy who thinks it’s a “travesty” that Michael Bay has not won an Oscar for “Best Director”—don’t be that guy.

The guy who thinks a shaved head and TapouT or Affliction t-shirt makes him an instant MMA fighter—don’t be that guy.

Have you ever wished Facebook would add a “Nobody Cares” or “Stop Whining” button for statuses? I think we all have. At least once a day we see one of “those” statuses that just makes us shake our head, roll our eyes, and utter something like “not again.” Although everyone is entitled to their own opinions and freedom of speech, there are 8 Facebook statuses that need to disappear:

1. The Passive-Aggressive Status
This is one of the most popular and most annoying statuses on Facebook, and I’ve seen people from 13 to 50 use this. It’s always directed at a certain unnamed person, and apparently that person knows who he or she is, because the status says so. It usually reads something like this:

So u wanna talk junk about me huh. Well u will get whats comin to you. You think u can hurt me but you’ll never be happy without me. You know who u are!

I apologize if my grammar was too proper.

2. The TMI Status
There are certain things the rest of the world just doesn’t need to know. If you’ve got a nasty infection, don’t tell us about the blood and pus. By no means should you post a picture of it. If you have a prayer request, it’s okay to be vague about disgusting specifics. If you’re about to have a baby or just had a baby and feel like sharing details that many of us are still ignorant about, please don’t. Protect our sanity and our stomachs and keep some things to yourself.

3. The “Are Those Song Lyrics?” Status
There is nothing wrong with someone posting song lyrics as a status. It doesn’t take a lot of creativity, but it’s not too much different from posting a quote. But it seems a lot of people forget 3 important aspects of quotations: 1) Quotation marks; 2) A reference; 3) Proper grammar and spelling. If you want to quote OneRepublic, fine. Go for it. But when you give us a status like…

me and my gang
out ridin on a saturday night
ain’t comin home til the rooster crows

…we’re not sure if you’re (poorly) quoting a Kenny Chesney song or out riding ATVs on in your parents’ backyard. (FYI…for all you Kenny Chesney fans, ATV’s are what you call 4-wheelers.)

4. The “I’m Connected to Twitter but Don’t Know How to Use Twitter” Status
Unless your status is really supposed to say “Haha, I know right? lol” then you’ve probably got a problem you need to fix. Quick tip: don’t multitask with technology if you don’t understand technology.

5. The Constant FourSquare Status
You’re at a hockey game? Cool. You’re seeing a great band in concert? Awesome. You’re sitting on your couch or in the Taco Bell drive-thru? Put the phone away, shut the laptop, and realize…we really don’t care.

6. The “Can’t Sleep” Status
I’ll admit, I’m guilty of this. I’ve infected Twitter and Facebook with 3 AM statements of “Ugh. Can’t sleep.” But have you noticed how the “Can’t sleep” statuses always get the least amount of “likes” or comments? Wanna know why? Because the rest of world is asleep and will never see the status. Here’s a bit of logic I’ve learned over the past few years: If you’re posting on Facebook that you can’t sleep, you probably can’t sleep because you’re on Facebook.

7. The Misspelled Status
We’re all guilty of clicking “Share” before we’ve proofread our statuses. It happens. It’s no big deal, right? That depends. When it happens occasionally, it’s understandable. When it happens every time you post a status, there’s a problem. Sure, you can blame your phone’s Auto Correct feature, but when there’s no mobile icon next to your status, we’ll probably think you’re lying. And by the way, if you have the fortitude to call out foreigners in our country who don’t speak English, you look really foolish when your status shows you don’t know how to speak it or write it either .

8. The Acronym Status
By now, most of the population is familiar with LOL, BRB, TTYL, and CYA. But a status full of acronyms is just plain annoying. It also doesn’t take long to type out the acronym you made up. Sorry if we don’t know that “WIRTTWUWY” actually means “Wow, I’m really tired today. What’s up with you?” Keep it simple…just not that simple.

[Photo source: facebook.com]

Do certain Facebook statuses annoy you? I’m sure I’ve posted my share of statuses that have caused people to “Hide” or “de-friend” me. The statuses that really make me shake my head are the ones that obviously mean something else. Luckily, I think have cracked the code, and here is a Facebook Status Translator:

“These lyrics really speak to me” = That song sounds cool, even if I have no idea what it’s really about

“Go ahead and spread rumors about me! See if I care!” = I do care

[Cuss word cuss word cuss word cuss word] = I have a limited vocabulary

“Some people have no integrity! Yeah, you know who you are.” = I got dumped and I’m bitter

“[Insert name] is at Target” = [Insert name] is probably at Target

“[Insert name] is shopping at Banana Republic” = [Insert name] is shopping at the Banana Republic Outlet

“…is bored” = Will someone please text me, talk to me on Facebook Chat, or call me to hang out? Please!

“I can’t believe what she did in this video” = Whoops! Clicked on a Spam link!

“Some people need to grow up!” = I need to grow up

“I hate [the opposite sex]! = That certain guy/girl I like doesn’t like me back

“I <3 Justin Bieber = Unfriend me

[Bible verse/spiritual statement at 10:47 am on a Sunday morning that has nothing to do with your pastor's sermon] = Slept in and didn’t go to church today

I’d like to nominate my 1999 Chevy Malibu for the biggest piece of junk on the planet. Other than having 170,000+ miles, here’s what else is wrong with it:

• Cracked windshield.
• The fan quit working on settings 1 and 2 about 7 years ago.
• While driving the car out of the dealer lot in 2002, the knob controlling my driver’s side mirror broke off and dropped inside the car.
• My gas gauge has been busted for 7 years. It constantly sits on empty.
• There’s a short in my AC and it comes on and off at it’s own choosing.
• During the winter, the car can’t heat up or defrost until it has been driven about 6 miles.
• My check engine light is on.
• After I turn, my turn signals are still on.
• The car has an AutoTheft system that is broken, causing the car to go into lockdown mode at various times, preventing me from driving it.
• The motor powering the fan is broken. If I’m lucky, I can hit a pothole and cause the fan to turn on for a few seconds. Otherwise, no fan or AC.
• I only get a few FM stations
• I get no AM stations
• My bumper should have been replaced 5 years ago after a lady rear-ended me. However, days before I took the car in to get fixed, the radiator went out and I had to use the insurance money to fix that.
• My CD player scratches CDs.
• Without my knowing, a full bottle of Yoohoo was placed under the driver’s seat. It later exploded, changing the color of some of my carpet. Thanks Jeremy Crittenden.
• Yesterday, my radio randomly decided to turn itself up to its loudest point and refused to turn down or turn off. Yep, that was me driving through 2 school zones with The Fray rattling my car.
• I put a St. Louis Cardinals magnet on my car a couple years ago. I left it on during the summer, and now the magnet is glued to my car. The logo has faded, but a giant black magnet now sits on my hood.

Yet somehow, my car still runs. Sure, I can’t use my AC, turn on my fan, use my radio or CD player, adjust my mirrors from inside the car, and there’s a chance my car will shutdown on its own…but it still drives.

Although it’s inevitable that my car is on borrowed time, I have a feeling that time will be very soon. Here’s my reasoning, and if you think I’m crazy, that’s totally fine with me:

I strongly believe that God provides for us, and He does that in ways we don’t always see or expect. Recently, my bosses approached me about the idea of putting in some overtime hours at work due to some changes within our company. While the overtime makes for longer days and tiring weeks, the added money is a nice bonus.

So while my car may be close to becoming a 2,000 lb paper weight, I believe that God has already seen the need that is ahead of me and is providing for me right now.

Maybe I’m wrong, but God works in mysterious ways, and maybe this is one of them.

Until that happens, I’m looking forward to seeing what else can go wrong with my car!

[Photo Source: http://bit.ly/lO1Vvj]

This is probably old news to some, but I am currently transitioning to a new position at Randall House. For the past 3+ years, I have been an Associate Editor, working with Teen Curriculum. Over the next couple of months, I will be sliding over to Young Adult Curriculum and taking over The Brink and thebrinkonline.com.

In addition to that transition, I have also been promoted from Associate Editor to Editor. I’m still in the process of learning the changes the promotion will bring…other than the acquisition of new business cards.

The timing of the full transition is still unknown but should happen within the next few months.

For those who may be wondering if I’ll finally grow up now that I’ll be working with young adult curriculum…absolutely not!

Ryan Troske has been one of my best friends since preschool. On Tuesday May 24, Ryan accepted an awesome position with the Alaska Groundfish Observer Program. I copied his recent blog post below because I think some of the people that read this blog will really find it interesting:

Before anyone calls me crazy, no I’m not joining the Deadliest Catch and going crab fishing. For those who haven’t heard, I have accepted a biologist position with the Alaska Groundfish Observer Program under the National Marine Fisheries Service. I will be collecting, maintaining, and distributing data for scientific, management, and regulation compliance purposes in the Gulf of Alaska and the Eastern Bering Sea/Aleutian Islands.

I will be traveling to Seattle June 1st where I will undergo a 3 week training program. Upon completion I will fly to Alaska in a matter of days where I will begin working on commercial fishing vessels. It is a 90 day contract so I expect to make it back home in early October. If I want to do more contracts I may do a short one in November or wait and do another full 3-month contract come January. This is a once in a lifetime experience and I’m looking forward to the adventure. But as I’m sure you all know, the Bering Sea is a very harsh environment and there is a significant element of danger that comes with this position. With that being said, I would appreciate your prayers during this time. Not only for safety, but also that I may be able to reach those I’ll be training and working alongside with the Gospel.

I welcome you to experience this stage of my life with me through this blog. I’m sure I’ll have plenty of stories to tell.  I’ll have a lot of down time, and believe I’ll have internet access for the most part, so I hope to keep this thing updated pretty regularly. I’m going to miss St. Louis for sure, and all those who are part of my life, but I know this path will lead to great things. I hope to see everyone before I go, but for those I cannot, I shall see you in about 4 months.

The sea, she’s uh callin’ my name maties!

You can follow Ryan’s adventures by keeping up to date with his blog: http://highfive4jesus.wordpress.com/

As Ryan mentioned, keep him in your prayers, both for his safety and for his boldness in sharing the gospel.

[Photo source: http://bit.ly/kIJiUL]

Sure. Anyone can sing “Mighty to Save.” But can you sing “Mighty to Save” while doing the Robot?

Thanks to Ryan Akers for showing me this.

No.