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I wish I was making this up.

When I saw the commercial, I thought it couldn’t be real. It had to be some “fake” advertisement that would run on The Soup or some other show that takes shots at pop culture, right? Wrong.

The show: Bridalplasty. Its aim: A reality show where 12 engaged women compete to win a dream wedding and plastic surgery, with the emphasis being more on the plastic surgery than the actual wedding.

Here’s how the show/game is played: The winner of each week’s challenge gets one plastic surgery procedure from her wish list. The winner of the competition gets a wedding of her dreams and multiple plastic surgery from her wish list. (If this sounds similar to Fox’s 2004 show, The Swan, it should. The same doctor who performed the surgeries on The Swan is the doctor behind the surgeries on Bridalplasty.)

On the flip side, the groom does not even get to see his bride until the wedding day, where she reveals her new look.

Yes, this is real.

Engaged women are actually competing to win plastic surgery. No, not Lasik eye surgery. Not surgery to repair broken bones. Surgery to enhance features that are otherwise working properly.

And how is E! marketing this show? With this promo: “Every bride wants to look her best on her wedding day but for the women competing on E!’s new series, Bridalplasty, only perfection will do.”

It’s not a surprise that I find this disgusting, insulting, and degrading. The message it sends is vain and self-serving. Think about the end of the promo line again: “Only perfection will do.” It’s not talking about intellectual perfection. It’s not talking about personality perfection. It’s not even talking about natural physical perfection. Its definition of “perfection” is an unnatural alteration performed by a surgeon to create or enhance something.

Although ratings were low for the premiere episode, it still brought in over 900,000 viewers. Viewers were fed the lie that perfection comes in physical appearance; being who God made you to be in never “enough.”

Some writers weighed in on the show. Mark A. Perigard of the Boston Herald said:

The show feeds “the idea that a woman’s worth is based on attaining the perfect physique by any means.”

Chris Spargo of Hollywood Life commented:

Bridalplasty’s “whining blonds” are “almost all in perfect shape” yet they still feel compelled to obliterate their “minor imperfections.”

Again, I wish I was making this up.

Unfortunately, it’s all too true. We have a show featuring attractive women in near perfect shape, who already have a significant other, competing to win plastic surgery procedures.

Or maybe we should call it what it really is: A pseudo-reality show featuring women with low self-esteem, competing to win plastic surgery that will give them the false hope of attaining emotional and physical perfection.

I have to ask, why would anyone go on this show? Even more, why would someone who is engaged go on this show? The only answer I can find is that these women must be so insecure and dislike themselves so much that they’re looking to find fulfillment wherever they can. Obviously these already-attractive women haven’t found fulfillment in themselves. They obviously haven’t found it in their fiances. What they don’t see is that they won’t find it in their surgeries either. When the show is over and the cameras are turned off, these women may see a different person in the mirror, but they’ll still dislike the person they see on the inside.

If you are the parent of a teenage girl or if you are a young woman yourself, think about the message this show is sending to females everywhere. This show feeds into the lie that physical appearance is everything. It doesn’t matter who you are on the inside as long as you are beautiful on the outside.

The real reality is that what you look like on the outside pales in comparison to who you are on the inside. Unfortunately, so many people refuse to believe that. They are willing to sacrifice their character, money, and even safety in hopes of “feeling” like a new person. It saddens me that there are hundreds of thousands of women around the world who are willing to waste money on changing the exterior, because they know fixing the inside will hurt even more than the surgery.

I wish I was making this up.

Sadly, this has become a “reality.”

I’m tired of hearing about Brett Favre.

I was tired of hearing about him when he retired. I was tired of hearing him when he came out of retirement. I was tired of hearing about him when he retired again. I was tired of hearing about him when he came out of retirement again. I was tired of hearing about him when he contemplated retirement again.

If having ESPN dominated by “Will he or won’t he?” stories was not enough, several weeks ago a scandal broke with Favre at the center.

(If you are not familiar with the story, I am purposely withholding certain details because of their graphic nature.)

The scandal that broke alleged that Brett Favre had sexually harassed Jenn Sterger, a reporter who worked for the New York Jets when Favre was their quarterback.

Within hours of the allegations, the Internet was flooded with suspicion of a possible suspension for Favre. Favre’s wife, who recently wrote a book, became a commodity for morning talk shows and magazine interviews. Sterger, the one who was allegedly harassed, became the victim in the incident.

Before I continue, please let me say that if the allegations have any truth to them at all, then Favre is in the wrong, both as a person and as a husband. Harassment is never right in any situation and cannot be justified nor can excuses be made.

Please keep those previous statements in mind when you read what I am about to say next. While people had no problem pointing the finger at Favre and condemning him for his (alleged) behavior, I was surprised that very little was said about Sterger. From all reports, it appears that Sterger did not accept the (alleged) advances and even tried to shut them down, which is what a person should do. She also is not the one to come forth with the allegations. That credit belongs to a trash sports tabloid site. However, Sterger’s background may provide a learning opportunity and teachable moment even more than Favre’s.

While Sterger is often referred to as a reporter and TV show host, she also has less credible things on her resume. Sterger has appeared in publications that are considered “pornography” and “soft-core pornography.” She also received plastic surgery to try to help her with her career. In addition, Sterger is known for wearing revealing clothing on camera, including during her days with the Jets.

Before you start thinking I’m running to the defense of Brett Favre, let me be quick to say that’s not happening. Harassment in any shape or form is wrong. Regardless of dress, talk, and action, no one should ever be harassed. This includes verbal, physical, and sexual harassment. Harassment is wrong. End of story.

Here is the point I am finally getting at and why this post is labeled “Sending Mixed Signals to the Opposite Sex.” When Jenn Sterger posed for pornographic magazines and underwent surgery to try to help her career, what message was she sending to guys? What kind of guys did she think she would attract? When a girl poses in a pornographic magazine, she’s not sending the message of “I’m a professional. I’m an intellectual. I respect myself.” Instead, she’s sending the message of, “I’m an object. I adore the attention of men. I’m using my body to gain attention. I am making money off of the lust of others.”

This absolutely boggles my mind. No woman wants to be harassed, used, or taken advantage of. Yet why do women present themselves in a way that screams, “I’m an object. Desire me for what’s on the outside, not the inside.” It seems that some women crave attention to such an extent that they’re willing to sacrifice their values and integrity just to be noticed. It’s sad. It’s sickening. It’s a double standard.

Now this does NOT excuse men for lustful thoughts, harassment, or improper conduct. Men, if we lust after a woman or harass a woman, it is a sin and a very severe sin. No matter how a woman dresses or acts, we are to remain pure in thought and action. If we cross the line, it is OUR sin.

But women, when you present yourselves in a way that is immodest, indecent, and even pornographic, what are you expecting to happen? In an extreme sense, you’re inviting harassment to take place. Put in a milder way, you’re being a stumbling block to men everywhere. And for what? To get noticed? To get a better job? To gain the eye of a man who only sees you for your body? It makes no sense.

Many times we think we have two lives: we have a professional life, and then we have our personal life. In many ways, we don’t want the two to overlap. We want to be like an actor in a movie, stepping on the set, playing a part, and then walking away from all of it hours later and becoming someone else. The truth is, we can’t have it both ways. We don’t get to live a compartmentalized life.

There are too many mixed signals in the world. Guys send them to women. Women send them to guys. Sometimes we think we know what we want, but we don’t always like the consequences of our decisions. That’s why it’s so important to decide now what you want to be later. If you want to be a person of integrity who is respected, start acting that way now. Don’t waste your life today and expect everything to fall into place tomorrow.

(Photo Source: http://bit.ly/ad52Zb)

Does today’s church believe in absolute truth? Does today’s church even know what absolute truth is?

There’s no doubt that the culture around us is on a downward spiral as far as morality is concerned. What worries me is that many within the church today can’t discern truth well enough to know where and if that downward spiral is taking place. The problem with deception is that it usually starts out small. Anyone can spot a blatant lie from a long ways away, at least you would hope so. However, when truth becomes blurry and lies begin to blend with truth, the result is a concoction that appears desirable yet actually is deadly.

In order to see this, all you have to do is look at modern media. Eat Pray Love, a movie starring Julia Roberts, is currently at the box office. Here’s what a reviewer at PluggedInOnline.com had to say about the movie and the main character, Liz:

Like so many before her, Liz has turned her back on a godly religious conviction and morality, and sought a less challenging spiritual system instead. A system that requires only vaguely sending “light and love” to others rather than buckling down and fighting for a covenant relationship’s survival and growth when things are emotionally difficult. A system that encourages sweetly masked self-indulgence over real self-sacrifice, and salvation without real repentance. Instead of God and His majesty, Ms. Gilbert wants cheap grace to help her get through her needlessly miserable days.

While people may be quick to discount this as only a “movie” or “mere entertainment,” the reality is many women have taken her advice and have attempted to find “themselves” through the same means as the character in the book/film. While there may be elements to the story that are uplifting, encouraging, and positive, there are also elements to the story that are self-indulgent and potentially dangerous. Is today’s society, especially today’s church, able to filter the good from the bad?

While some have blended elements of truth with elements other sources, many have attempted to ignore truth altogether and present sinful behavior as desirable. Take a TV show like Pretty Little Liars for example. The show has been rising in fame, most notable among teenage girls. It actually won the 2010 Teen Choice Award for “Choice Summer TV Show.” Teen show. Award winner. On ABC Family. Should be an acceptable show for teenage girls to watch, right? Not quite. The show has included storylines involving the main female characters “experimenting” with lesbianism. While some may say that they’re just portraying life how it actually is, I would beg to differ. I don’t believe that’s where we are yet. (Sadly, the keyword might be “yet”) Rather, I think that is where the producers and writers want to take our culture. They know they have influence. They know they have ratings. They know they can spread their agenda and people will listen.

Sadly, talk to any youth pastor in this country and there’s a good chance he’ll tell you that many of his teens are influenced by shows and movies like the ones I mentioned above. They get hooked in with the drama, scandals, sex, and provocativeness, and they sit through the agendas, propaganda, and blatant messages that the writers attempt to get across. Before too long, they believe THAT is reality and see nothing wrong with the sinful acts presented on TV because they look quite desirable and fun. To be honest, I think young adults fall into this same trap too.

What influence do these shows, movies, books, music, etc have on us? The truth is we can’t solely watch only for entertainment value because what we watch becomes part of us. It begins to shape our worldview. Don’t believe me? Then why do we get defensive when someone badmouths a show we watch or even objectively disagrees with what the show promotes and endorses?

To be honest, it almost seems like we’ll defend our favorite (trashy) TV show before we’ll defend the truth of Scripture. Sometimes we’ll defend our favorite TV show OVER the truth of Scripture.

My concern is that either we don’t know how to discern truth, or we’re refusing to because it would force us to change our guilty pleasures.

Sadly, I think truth is dying in many churches today. We may say we believe in the truth of Scripture, but in no way do we allow that same Scripture to direct our lives and shape who we are.

It used to be that we had teenagers in the church who had no sense of right or wrong. Now those teenagers have become parents and their skewed view of truth is what is helping shape the lives of their children.

When we don’t have a firm understanding of truth and what we believe and why we believe it, we will be influenced by anything and everything. Every new idea, fad, lifestyle, and “religious idea” will intrigue us. When discernment takes a backseat to intrigue and entertainment, we turn our backs on the truth in which we claim to believe.

Last week I posted some statistics about adults that texted while driving. Well new numbers have come out from the LG Text Ed Survey. You can find the results by click here. Here are some of the things that stood out most from the research:

• 44 percent of parents admitted to texting and driving.
• 28 percent of parents admit to engaging in some form of “sexting”
• 42 percent of parents admit to texting someone while at the dinner table; whereas 69 percent of teens admit to texting at the dinner table.

• 45 percent of teens admit to texting and driving. And only 4 percent of parents believe their teens ever text while driving.
• 41 percent of teens admit to sending, receiving, or forwarding a text that said something sexual, while only 11 percent of parents thought their teens had ever sexted.

• 90 percent of texting parents felt closer to their teen as a result of the medium.
• 58 percent of teens said being able to text their parents made them feel closer.
• 83 percent of teens prefer their parents check in with them via text.

Source: http://www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/do-as-i-say-not-as-i-text-98497159.html

I’m always intrigued by awards shows that cater to teenagers and kids. Seeing the nominees and winners gives you some sort of an idea of where their culture is and where it is headed (or maybe the direction in which corporate American wants their culture to go).

The nominees have been listed for the 2010 Teen Choice Awards, which takes place on August 9. Here are a few things that caught my eye. Feel free to draw your own conclusions about the state of teen culture:

- Eclipse led the way with 17 nominations. 11 of those nominations were for Taylor Lautner

- Katy Perry of “I Kissed a Girl” fame is hosting the Teen Choice Awards

- Here are the shows nominated for Best Teen Drama:
90210
Gossip Girl
Grey’s Anatomy
House
The Secret Life of the American Teenager

- Nominees for Choice TV Show: Comedy include primetime network shows (The Big Bang Theory, Glee, Modern Family) as well as Disney Channel Shows (Sonny With a Chance, Wizards of Waverly Place)

- Here are the nominees for Choice TV: Animated Show: (Looks like the days of SpongeBob SquarePants are long gone)
American Dad
The Cleveland Show
Family Guy
South Park
Star Wars: The Clone Wars

- The awards show includes the following categories:
Choice TV: Reality Show
Choice TV: Reality Competition Show
Choice TV: Male Reality/Variety Star
Choice TV: Female Reality/Variety Star

- Miley Cyrus is nominated for 13 awards

- Presenters include Khloe, Kim and Kourtney Kardashian

- Salt has been nominated for Choice Summer Movie, even though it doesn’t release until July 23 and voting is already underway

- 3 of the 5 nominations for Choice Movie: Comedy carry an R-rating, meaning teenagers 13-16 can’t even see them on their own. 4 of the 5 nominees for Choice Movie: Horror/Thriller carry R-ratings.

- Marmaduke was nominated for Choice Movie: Animated, although it can be argued that it’s not even an animated movie (There’s no point to this statement…other than it looks like the panel had to stretch hard to get 5 nominees)

- Nominees for Choice: Music Rap Artist:
Drake
Eminem
Jay-Z
Ludacris
Pit Bull

Just some things I found interesting. Like I said, whether this depicts teen culture or only the organizations that have the most money within teen culture…I don’t know. But regardless I think we can learn a lot about today’s youth culture thru these award shows.

Have you seen this Silly Bandz things? I’m not quite sure what they are or what they’re supposed to do, but evidently they’re extremely popular. From what I can tell, they just look like colorful rubber bands that are shaped like ducks, sharks, or some Disney character, and they’re worn around the wrist. They’re also relatively cheap, which probably helps the fad. Regardless of whether you think they’re awesome or cheap and overrated, there’s no denying the love that kids seem to have for them.

Silly Bandz is bringing in over $200 million a year right now, and that number is climbing. The bands are so popular that some schools have even had to ban them because they’re a distraction for students.

While I really don’t have much interest in Silly Bandz, their popularity got me thinking about some of the best/crazies toys or “trends” from the last 25 years. Here’s what I came up with. What do you think should be added to the list?

Furbies

Beanie Babies

Tickle Me Elmo

Pogs

Wii

Pokemon

Tamagotchi/Nano pets

TMNT

The evidence seems to be growing but now it’s hit a very weird point. Several months ago, reports came out from divorce lawyers that said Facebook was to blame for failed marriages. In a nutshell, spouses were reuniting with old flames, becoming too acquainted with friends of the opposite sex, or meeting new potential partners through Facebook. According to an article in USA Today, the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers says 81% of its members have used or faced evidence from Facebook, MySpace,Twitter and other social networking sites, including YouTube and LinkedIn, over the last five years.

As sad as that is, it’s probably not too shocking. However, the news has continued to get weird. According to an article from Lindsay Robertson of Yahoo! Movies, some women have nearly destroyed their marriages by neglecting their spouses in favor of Twilight-related activities.

It gets weirder. As if that wasn’t enough, apparently FarmVille and World of Warcraft are now to blame for ruined marriages. Men and women are neglecting their spouse and their children in favor of taking care of a virtual farm of fake animals and crops, or fighting mythological creatures in quests on the computer.

While it’s easy to point the finger at Facebook, Twilight, FarmVille, and World of Warcraft, I think we would be pointing the finger in the wrong direction if we passed the blame off on them. While all of those things take up our time and attention, ultimately WE are the ones who choose to spend time on those things. WE choose to get on Facebook. WE choose who we talk to, flirt with, meet up with, and pursue a relationship with. WE choose to spend all day on Twilight message boards. WE choose to give lunch to a virtual cow rather than make lunch for our own children.

When we pass the blame onto a web site or book or game, we’re ultimately removing responsibility from ourselves and placing it on some “thing.”

The truth of the matter is divorce happens because a person or both people fail to live up to their responsibility as a husband or wife. It’s not the fault of Facebook or FarmVille. Those things can be vehicles which help get us off track, but ultimately the responsibility falls on us.

That is why it is so important to have a marriage that is grounded in Christ. If anything else is the basis of our relationship or marriage, we’re building it on a weak foundation.

It seems like all of the PSAs, ads, commercials, etc. about driving and texting are focused at teenagers. From the sound of it, you would think 99% of teens text and drive, and all other demographics are innocent. Well, all you have to do is lift up your head from your phone to realize there’s a bigger problem at hand.

According to research from InformationWeek, adults text while driving more than teens. The study shows that nearly half of all texting adults say they have sent or read a text message on their phone while driving, compared to about one-third of teenagers.

Neither group is excusable, and this doesn’t give teenagers a reason to point the finger and pretend to be innocent.

Information from the rest of the study can be found at InformationWeek‘s website. You can find it by clicking here.

However, I don’t know if we can expect teenagers to abide by the law if their parents aren’t following it themselves.

Parents, set the example. Your teen is watching. If you don’t want your teen to text behind the wheel, set the standard by putting the phone away while you drive. Whatever it is you need to send or read can wait. It might save your life, as well as the lives of many others.

The following is an excerpt from Shannon Primicerio’s article “Bold Is Beautiful: Learning to Stand Out in a Fit-In World” from the Fall 2010 editions of Horizon and Direction magazines:

Choosing Your Celebrity Friends Wisely

I used to believe that what I watched wasn’t a big deal, but most of us could probably quote more movie lines than Bible verses, a talent that doesn’t exactly come in handy in the middle of temptation.

When I was in college my friends and I were into a popular sitcom. Every week we piled into one dorm room just in time to watch the unfolding events in the lives of our favorite characters. From the very beginning my friend Jen was opposed to the show. She thought the characters led immoral lives. Many times she chose to sit out in the hall and do homework while we used her roommate’s TV.

Over time, Jen lost her willpower and began watching the show with us. When some of the storylines got old to the rest of us, Jen found them fascinating because they were new to her. She was hooked. About a year later she started making poor choices. It was like she became a different person.

Our friend Jill decided to talk to her about the drastic change. Immediately Jen was defensive. “Wait a second,” she said. “For years you watched the characters on our show do things like this and you didn’t have a problem with it. So, don’t tell me you have a problem when I do it.”

Although Jen’s actions weren’t justified, she had a point. Inviting similar behaviors into our dorm rooms each week (via our favorite show) was hypocritical. If we wouldn’t live like those characters, we shouldn’t have been willing to watch them make poor choices week after week.

First Corinthians 15:33 tells us evil company corrupts good habits. That’s just as true with the company we keep through our television sets and movie screens. Choose the TV shows and movies you watch the same way you choose your friends—wisely and with godly discernment. They really do matter more than you think.

Check out the rest of the article in the Fall 2010 editions of Horizon and Direction magazines.

Do you have a definition of modesty? Not like a dictionary definition, but do you have your own definition? A few years ago I heard a speaker talking about the issue of modesty. He said the sad thing is that many girls have the following definition of immodesty: “Anyone who is dressing more immodest than I am.” In other words, many girls have falsely convinced themselves that they are the epitome of modesty, but anyone who dresses less modest crosses the line into immodesty. What’s so sad about this is that many girls have convinced themselves they dress modest when they truly do not.

As a twentysomething male, the issue of modesty is very important to me. As I engage in a daily battle to control my thoughts, I appreciate those girls who make the effort to keep from being a stumbling block. Sadly, from Wal Mart to McDonalds and even to church, I see many girls who have ignored the call to modesty. And yet I wonder how many of them think they are dressing in a modest fashion.

I’ve heard some argue “Well, if a guy can’t control his thoughts, that’s his problem.” That answer is 100% correct and 100% selfish. If I sin, it is my sin and I am responsible. However, if you refuse to help the opposite sex  in this battle and decide to be a stumbling block, you are basically saying “The attention my body gets is more important than your spiritual walk.”

So let me ask all of the females out there…do you have a definition of modesty? Not a dictionary definition, but do you have a practical definition of modesty that you abide by? Also, if you see a friend wearing something that is immodest, do you mention it to her and/or even ask her to change her clothing?