Facebook Etiquette for Old People

Author: DavidJones  //  Category: Pop Culture, Random

Have you noticed that Facebook is getting “older?” Due to privacy changes and the overwhelming influx of helicopter parents and grandparents, many teens have left the world of Zuckerberg behind and have migrated to different forms of social media. That leaves many Facebook users who are old in age, but new into the world social media. Because of this digital dynamic, Jeremy Crittenden and I thought it would be a good idea to offer some Facebook etiquette for old people. And just how do we define “old?” Well, we’ll leave that up to you. But if you find yourself guilty of many of the things we list, there’s your answer!

Facebook Etiquette for Old People:

*When commenting on a status, make sure your comment pertains to the status. If I’m asking what people thought of last night’s debate, a comment is not the place for you to ask me how my parents are doing.

*Commenting on a status is different than posting a status. Double check before you start having a conversation with yourself.

*If you are unsure if something is sarcasm, chances are it probably is.

*It’s okay to NOT post a comment on every single status you read.

*When someone’s status changes from “In a Relationship” to “Single” you don’t need to comment and ask, “What happened?”

*If you tag me in a picture, make sure it’s actually me and not your nephew with the same first name.

*Chain statuses are just as annoying as chain emails.

*For the 100th time, stop inviting me to play Facebook Games. I know you’re just using me for free coins and cows.

*We don’t want to see immodest pictures of 20 year olds. We DEFINITELY don’t want to see immodest pictures of you.

*Prayer requests are fine. Gory details are not.

*A status should be a short quip concerning what you’re thinking or what’s going on in your life. It doesn’t need to be a running commentary that’s updated every hour that reads like a Hemingway novel. That’s why Twitter exists.

*If you comment on a status I posted six weeks ago, chances are I’m not going to jump back in to that conversation.

*The ads on your page are not the same as the ads on my page. I honestly have no idea what you’re referring to.

*Under no circumstance are you allowed to make up an online acronym. You might get away with using “BRB” as “Bathroom Break,” but chances are you’ll really cause chaos at some point.

*If you don’t know her, don’t accept her friend request!

*There is a point when cat videos from YouTube stop being funny.

*If I update my status to let you know one of my family members is suffering from a serious illness, you probably shouldn’t “Like” it.

*There is a way to delete statuses with misspelled words. Utilize that feature! There’s no need for your status to be like the voicemail of an elderly couple in 1995. (“Which button do I press? Did it beep? Huh? What? How do you stop this thing?”)

*No one is giving away $500 gift cards for Pizza Hut, Victoria’s Secret, Best Buy, Southwest, or anything else. If you signed up, you probably just got “phished” (Google it) and need to change your password.


[Photo source: facebook.com]

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3 Responses to “Facebook Etiquette for Old People”

  1. Jean Says:

    Ok, this is cute. Let me know if you ever find me guilty.

  2. Brittany Says:

    “*For the 100th time, stop inviting me to play Facebook Games. I know you’re just using me for free coins and cows.”

    AMEN! This one makes me crazy!

  3. Rekowski Says:

    I think the very first one is one that I see the most of! Nice list!

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