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Have you ever wished Facebook would add a “Nobody Cares” or “Stop Whining” button for statuses? I think we all have. At least once a day we see one of “those” statuses that just makes us shake our head, roll our eyes, and utter something like “not again.” Although everyone is entitled to their own opinions and freedom of speech, there are 8 Facebook statuses that need to disappear:

1. The Passive-Aggressive Status
This is one of the most popular and most annoying statuses on Facebook, and I’ve seen people from 13 to 50 use this. It’s always directed at a certain unnamed person, and apparently that person knows who he or she is, because the status says so. It usually reads something like this:

So u wanna talk junk about me huh. Well u will get whats comin to you. You think u can hurt me but you’ll never be happy without me. You know who u are!

I apologize if my grammar was too proper.

2. The TMI Status
There are certain things the rest of the world just doesn’t need to know. If you’ve got a nasty infection, don’t tell us about the blood and pus. By no means should you post a picture of it. If you have a prayer request, it’s okay to be vague about disgusting specifics. If you’re about to have a baby or just had a baby and feel like sharing details that many of us are still ignorant about, please don’t. Protect our sanity and our stomachs and keep some things to yourself.

3. The “Are Those Song Lyrics?” Status
There is nothing wrong with someone posting song lyrics as a status. It doesn’t take a lot of creativity, but it’s not too much different from posting a quote. But it seems a lot of people forget 3 important aspects of quotations: 1) Quotation marks; 2) A reference; 3) Proper grammar and spelling. If you want to quote OneRepublic, fine. Go for it. But when you give us a status like…

me and my gang
out ridin on a saturday night
ain’t comin home til the rooster crows

…we’re not sure if you’re (poorly) quoting a Kenny Chesney song or out riding ATVs on in your parents’ backyard. (FYI…for all you Kenny Chesney fans, ATV’s are what you call 4-wheelers.)

4. The “I’m Connected to Twitter but Don’t Know How to Use Twitter” Status
Unless your status is really supposed to say “Haha, I know right? lol” then you’ve probably got a problem you need to fix. Quick tip: don’t multitask with technology if you don’t understand technology.

5. The Constant FourSquare Status
You’re at a hockey game? Cool. You’re seeing a great band in concert? Awesome. You’re sitting on your couch or in the Taco Bell drive-thru? Put the phone away, shut the laptop, and realize…we really don’t care.

6. The “Can’t Sleep” Status
I’ll admit, I’m guilty of this. I’ve infected Twitter and Facebook with 3 AM statements of “Ugh. Can’t sleep.” But have you noticed how the “Can’t sleep” statuses always get the least amount of “likes” or comments? Wanna know why? Because the rest of world is asleep and will never see the status. Here’s a bit of logic I’ve learned over the past few years: If you’re posting on Facebook that you can’t sleep, you probably can’t sleep because you’re on Facebook.

7. The Misspelled Status
We’re all guilty of clicking “Share” before we’ve proofread our statuses. It happens. It’s no big deal, right? That depends. When it happens occasionally, it’s understandable. When it happens every time you post a status, there’s a problem. Sure, you can blame your phone’s Auto Correct feature, but when there’s no mobile icon next to your status, we’ll probably think you’re lying. And by the way, if you have the fortitude to call out foreigners in our country who don’t speak English, you look really foolish when your status shows you don’t know how to speak it or write it either .

8. The Acronym Status
By now, most of the population is familiar with LOL, BRB, TTYL, and CYA. But a status full of acronyms is just plain annoying. It also doesn’t take long to type out the acronym you made up. Sorry if we don’t know that “WIRTTWUWY” actually means “Wow, I’m really tired today. What’s up with you?” Keep it simple…just not that simple.

[Photo source: facebook.com]