The Top 10 Signs You Picked the Wrong Valentine
10. During your date, more words are said through text messages than your mouth.
9. The card she gives you says your love almost makes her forget about her ex.
8. Her perfume reminds you of your 95-year-old grandmother and the smell of the Ape House at the zoo.
7. He informs you that your chocolate has been replaced by asparagus because “it’s cheaper” and “your hips are already big enough.”
6. Instead of buying you a stuffed animal, he gives you a stuffed squirrel he hit with his car a few hours earlier.
5. He tells you the date has to be over by 8:30 so he can pick up his “real” date.
4.Your date creates her own candy hearts with personal messages such as “LSE WGHT,” “IC UR FAT,” and “BAD BRTH.”
3. He schedules the date after February 14 so flowers are cheaper and candy is discounted.
2. As he walks you to the door he tells you that you look more beautiful in the dark.
1.When your date receives the check for dinner, he reaches for his credit card, pulls out his coupons, and asks if he needs to pull to the second window.
Tags: Bad, candy, flowers, Valentine's Day
February 12th, 2010 at 3:44 pm
in tribute to Ben Wheeler, you should add another one… “Your date is John Davis and you are front row at Bon Jovi.”