iPopCulture.NET

We all have Christmas songs that just annoy the mess out of us. Here’s a list of 10 that I could do without. You may disagree with me, but oh well. It’s my list

10. “Deck the Halls”
It may be a classic, but have you ever looked at the words. I don’t understand what half the song means, and the other half is littered with “fa la la’s.” And I know the meaning of words change over the course of time, but I really don’t want to “don” my “gay apparel.”

9. “All I Want for Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth”
The song sounds like the kid from Up recorded a Christmas album. This video shows how “goofy” the song actually is:

8. “I Saw Three Ships”
It sounds like an old Irish drinking song and repeats itself over and over and over and over. I’m not not even sure what the song is about, except there were 3 ships, and it was Christmas.

7. “Feliz Navidad”
When every English-only-speaking American knows every single word to the song, it’s time to invent something new. The song is catchy and fun around November 29. By December 24, it’s annoying. Maybe it’s time for us to learn new Spanish songs.

6. “Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer”
Have you read all the lyrics to the song? Grandma gets run over and killed and the family takes it just fine. No big deal. Apparently she was drinking too much egg nog, not taking her medication, and wandering around aimlessly. This song isn’t fun. It’s family neglect! Grandma is dead and no one cares! Very disturbing. Not to mention, it’s backwoods hillbilly music. Here’s a clip from the movie that was based off the song. Yikes!

5. “Baby It’s Cold Outside”
When I heard this song in Elf, I loved it. That was until I read the lyrics. This guy sounds like a total pervert who is bent on seducing the girl in any way possible. Don’t believe me? Check out the lyrics:

I really can’t stay – Baby it’s cold outside
I’ve got to go away – Baby it’s cold outside
This evening has been – Been hoping that you’d drop in
So very nice – I’ll hold your hands, they’re cold as ice
My mother will start to worry – Beautiful, what’s your hurry
My father will be pacing the floor – Listen to the fireplace roar
So really I’d better scurry – Beautiful, please don’t hurry
Well maybe just one drink more – Put some records on while I pour

The neighbors might think – Baby, it’s bad out there
Say, what’s in this drink – No cabs to be had out there

She’s trying to get away. He’s trying to get her to stay. And then comes the kicker: “Say, what’s in this drink?” Did he spike it? Sounds a little concerning to me! Here’s a video featuring Rainn Wilson with a funny take on the song:

4. “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus”
Even though the song is innocent, in the kid’s mind, he just saw his mom cheating on his dad with Santa. But no worries for the boy. Just plenty of laughs. Riiiiiight.

3. “Santa Baby”
When I hear this song, it makes me feel dirty. It seems like it turns Santa and Christmas into something sexual and deviant aka the opposite of what Christmas is about! And sorry…but NO video for this one.

2. “The Little Drummer Boy”
“Pa rum pum pum pum” are not real lyrics. They’re not even words. Well, “rum” is, but that clearly has nothing to do with the song. I don’t know why but this song has always annoyed me. Maybe because it takes a biblical story and adds a fictional character. Maybe because I’m never seen an ox and lamb keep time. Maybe because drums can’t be used in worship (kidding). I don’t know. Here’s a very awkward encounter between Bing Crosby and Davie Bowie:

1. “Christmas Shoes” by Newsong
This is difficult to put on here because I’ve met and talked with the band many times and they are incredible guys and incredible musicians. I love 99% of their music and their concerts are always great. However, this song makes me hate shoes. I’m not big on “feel good” and “make you cry” Christmas songs. Also, if Momma is about to die, shouldn’t the boy be at the hospital and not buying shoes? And doesn’t he know Momma can’t take those shoes to heaven with her? (I’m being ridiculous. Don’t hate me.) Actually hate me if you want, but when “Christmas Shoes” is being performed live in July, I have reason to make it #1 on my list.

There are many other songs that could have made the list, especially if I journeyed outside the realm of “classic” Christmas songs. Things like “Last Christmas” by Wham, “Do They Know It’s Christmas” by Band Aid, and “Please Daddy (Don’t Get Drunk This Christmas)” by John Denver could all make a list somewhere.

What Christmas songs do you find most annoying?

(P.S. The 10 greatest versions of Christmas songs coming tomorrow)