What is the worst Halloween candy? Here is a Top 10 List of the Worst Halloween Candy ever according to Kidzworld.com:
10. Apples
9. Raisins
8. Candy Corn
7. Baked Goods
6. Dum Dum Suckers
5. Toothbrushes
4. Tootsie Rolls
3. Misc. Hard Candy
2. Dusty Jelly Beans
1. Fun-Sized Chocolate
Since I happen to disagree with most of that list, I thought I would make my own:
10. Raisins
Yes, I know they’re healthy, but they also come in box the size of a postage stamp. When kids are craving chocolate and sugar, 10 raisins that have been squished together to make 1 giant size ball of gunk is not too appealing.
9. Candy Corn
Candy Corn can be good, but for some reason, on Halloween it never is. I enjoy eating the pumpkin variations of Candy Corn, and even some Candy Corn that is fresh and right out of the bag tastes good. But for some reason, the Candy Corn you receive on Halloween is always stale, hard, and tastes like rocks.
8. Pennies
Not the candy, the food. Seriously, what am I going to do with 6 pennies?
7. Circus Peanuts
The texture isn’t even describable. I would have to guess that it’s comparable to eating insulation. However, I wouldn’t suggest either for safety reasons.
6. Smarties
These things are like the red-headed stepchild of Sweet Tarts. They’re not tangy, they’re not sour…they just taste like nasty sugar that’s gone bad. Has anyone ever eaten these things and not made that “Eww” face afterward?
5. Black Licorice
WHY do they sell this stuff? Only 4 people in the world have ever liked it, and I’m pretty sure they’re not alive anymore. As if it’s not bad enough, some wise guy decided to make scented black markers smell just like this stuff. Gross!
4. Mary Jane’s
Shares it’s name with marijuana. Both are bad for you. Just say “no.”
3. Dots (or anything that is “supposed” to be chewy)
Throw Dots, Mike and Ike’s, Good and Plenty, and all that “chewy” junk in here. If it’s supposed to be chewy, but Halloween it’s probably not. The only thing worse than eating these things was trying to get them out of my teeth. I tried a toothbrush, floss, a paint scraper, an ice pick, and even a dentist visit and still couldn’t get that gummy stuff out of my teeth. I don’t think they have even flavor…they just stick to every part of you like superglue.
2. Bit-O-Honey
I’ve never met someone who ate honey for the fun of it. So why make a candy that is strictly honey? No chocolate, no nuts, just honey. Bit-O-Blah!
1. Peanut Butter Kisses (The black and orange wrapped peanut butter junk)
These things are almost famous for being disgusting! No one is quite sure what they are. They say peanut butter, but I’d beg to differ. When I was younger my parents tried to keep me from eating them. They told me bad people might unwrap them and put razor blades in them and wrap them back up. I don’t think they really believed that. I think they just wanted to keep me from eating the nastiest stuff ever.
Honorable Mentions:
Peeps
This is an Easter candy; not a Halloween candy. But at any time, it’s still fake marshmallows coated in sugar. They’re really just a heart attack in a box.
Gospel Tracts
Even as a Christian kid, I hated getting tracts in my bag that said “Halloween is Satanic! Turn or burn!!!” If you really wanted to get my attention you’d put a verse of Scripture on a Snickers bar.
Unlabeled Hard Candy
If you were ever skeptical about this stuff, good! It seems like old people always carry this kind of candy in their pocket. Maybe the lack of a label is supposed to surprise us, but tasting rotten butterscotch or expired strawberry isn’t exactly on my list of great things.
Tags: Worst Halloween Candy
November 4th, 2009 at 9:33 pm
You sir are crazy, Bit-O-Honey are awesome!