Today is my first day back at work since Friday. I’ve been sick since Friday night with…well…you don’t need the details. Let’s just say it’s been bad. Just to get back into the habit of blogging again, here’s a few things I learned from being sick:
1. Daytime TV is BORING!
Even with 100 channels, my choices are limited. Do I watch Sportscenter for the 8th time? Soap operas? Spanish soap operas? SpongeBob Squarepants, SpongeBob Squarepants, and later…more SpongeBob Squarepants? Maybe syndicated game shows hosted by Donnie Osmond where the grand prize is a new bike? It’s rough!
2. Daytime TV is targeted at people living in their parents’ basement
No joke! Pretty much every commercial starts out, “Hey, are you sick of living in your parents’ basement?” And then it’s (unrealistically) followed by, “Do you want to make lots of money in a professional field you absolutely love?” And then comes the greatest part…you only have to sign up for a 2 week course at a local community college and you’ll be on your way to designing graphics and animation from the 1980s, working in a technology field with computers that still use floppy disks, and becoming a dental hygienist while wearing glasses that were popular with the cast of Saved By the Bell. Gotta love outdated “come-to-our-school-and-find-a-job-in-a-bad-economy” commercials.
3. If you can’t eat food, you don’t want to see food!
Seeing a commercial for Chili’s or accidentally turning it to the Food Network was like being waterboarded. I didn’t even have to eat the food to feel it start coming back up. Too graphic? Whoops. But you get my point!
4. Gatorade and Powerade are part of a delicious and balanced breakfast.
I would probably be dead and dehydrated without you! Thank you!
5. If you take medicine that makes you a little loopy/crazy, don’t text, call, or chat with anyone online.
I sincerely apologize. ‘Nough said.