Comments on: My Letter to Girls http://www.ipopculture.net/2009/07/my-letter-to-girls/ The blog of David Jones Thu, 26 Aug 2010 00:52:23 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 By: Ashley http://www.ipopculture.net/2009/07/my-letter-to-girls/comment-page-1/#comment-1852 Ashley Tue, 18 May 2010 01:16:47 +0000 http://www.ipopculture.net/?p=841#comment-1852 I agree with everything you have said, but also find it interesting that you chose the picture you did for this topic. The girl isn't helping that guy out at all by sitting the way she is in that skirt. I'm pretty sure he got an "eyefull". I agree with everything you have said, but also find it interesting that you chose the picture you did for this topic. The girl isn’t helping that guy out at all by sitting the way she is in that skirt. I’m pretty sure he got an “eyefull”.

]]> By: Stephanie McVay http://www.ipopculture.net/2009/07/my-letter-to-girls/comment-page-1/#comment-1258 Stephanie McVay Thu, 16 Jul 2009 02:46:43 +0000 http://www.ipopculture.net/?p=841#comment-1258 Just a quick response: I love all of these comments! And Hannah, I agree. There is nothing a girl loves more than a sincere compliment from a guy! :) Just a quick response: I love all of these comments! And Hannah, I agree. There is nothing a girl loves more than a sincere compliment from a guy! :)

]]> By: HannahP http://www.ipopculture.net/2009/07/my-letter-to-girls/comment-page-1/#comment-1245 HannahP Tue, 07 Jul 2009 21:49:47 +0000 http://www.ipopculture.net/?p=841#comment-1245 One of the things that impresses me most about Jesus as a man was His ministry to women. Women weren't treated then as they are today. Men used them for merely objects on a regular basis. Even great men like Solomon and David. Jesus has several interactions with those women who felt they had no other choice but to live and behave with the key goal to be objectified by men. He offered them a freedom no other man had ever offered them. And I'm sure while interacting with them and ministering to them, he may have seen things he shouldn't. But can you imagine the kind of self-discipline he must have displayed to have been around them and not sin? Because he says to even think about it is a sin. But he didn't avoid them, he just gave them what was missing by not looking at them as an object and by offering them a way out of adulterous lifestyles. It just makes me so mad when Feminism attacks Christianity not even realizing that nobody treated women more delicately and beautifully as Christ. He wasn't a pig and he wasn't demeaning... and women flocked to Him... In his day he offered them more than their society could and it wasn't the ability to wear whatever they want without feeling responsible ... it wasn't the right to do whatever men could do... it was emotionally sustaining above anything else this world could offer. I say all that to say.. girls, THAT is the kind of man you should look for. One who behaves as though you are the most precious thing on this earth and has disciplined himself enough to look beyond what you can offer his mind to play around with. BUT to get that man, you must behave as a woman who won't just give herself away (whether by flaunting things) or by acting on sexual impulses. I just think Kayla said it best when she said we just want that affirmation from men, and when we don't have men if our life who give us the positive Christ-like affirmation... we end up with easy girls and pigs for men. Maybe to help the problem you addressed David, guys should compliment girls more often in positive ways. We pick up on things when guys like a certain actress or athlete, and we begin to discect the way she looks trying to figure out what it is we can mimick to gain the same attraction you have for her. If more guys said less flirty things to revealing busty blondes, more girls would stop trying to become them. We want affirmation and affection and end up bring both genders down trying to obtain it. One of the things that impresses me most about Jesus as a man was His ministry to women. Women weren’t treated then as they are today. Men used them for merely objects on a regular basis. Even great men like Solomon and David. Jesus has several interactions with those women who felt they had no other choice but to live and behave with the key goal to be objectified by men. He offered them a freedom no other man had ever offered them. And I’m sure while interacting with them and ministering to them, he may have seen things he shouldn’t. But can you imagine the kind of self-discipline he must have displayed to have been around them and not sin? Because he says to even think about it is a sin. But he didn’t avoid them, he just gave them what was missing by not looking at them as an object and by offering them a way out of adulterous lifestyles.
It just makes me so mad when Feminism attacks Christianity not even realizing that nobody treated women more delicately and beautifully as Christ. He wasn’t a pig and he wasn’t demeaning… and women flocked to Him… In his day he offered them more than their society could and it wasn’t the ability to wear whatever they want without feeling responsible … it wasn’t the right to do whatever men could do… it was emotionally sustaining above anything else this world could offer.

I say all that to say.. girls, THAT is the kind of man you should look for. One who behaves as though you are the most precious thing on this earth and has disciplined himself enough to look beyond what you can offer his mind to play around with. BUT to get that man, you must behave as a woman who won’t just give herself away (whether by flaunting things) or by acting on sexual impulses.

I just think Kayla said it best when she said we just want that affirmation from men, and when we don’t have men if our life who give us the positive Christ-like affirmation… we end up with easy girls and pigs for men.

Maybe to help the problem you addressed David, guys should compliment girls more often in positive ways. We pick up on things when guys like a certain actress or athlete, and we begin to discect the way she looks trying to figure out what it is we can mimick to gain the same attraction you have for her. If more guys said less flirty things to revealing busty blondes, more girls would stop trying to become them. We want affirmation and affection and end up bring both genders down trying to obtain it.

]]> By: DavidJones http://www.ipopculture.net/2009/07/my-letter-to-girls/comment-page-1/#comment-1244 DavidJones Tue, 07 Jul 2009 16:59:37 +0000 http://www.ipopculture.net/?p=841#comment-1244 Wow. Great comments from everyone. Joe, I found that passage incredible so I had to pass it on. Thanks! Kayla, thanks for your honesty and insight into the female mind. I love the line "God created women to be captivating for men, but not in a sinful manner." So true! Wow. Great comments from everyone.

Joe, I found that passage incredible so I had to pass it on. Thanks!

Kayla, thanks for your honesty and insight into the female mind. I love the line “God created women to be captivating for men, but not in a sinful manner.” So true!

]]> By: Kayla Lynch http://www.ipopculture.net/2009/07/my-letter-to-girls/comment-page-1/#comment-1243 Kayla Lynch Tue, 07 Jul 2009 16:54:16 +0000 http://www.ipopculture.net/?p=841#comment-1243 This has been very insightful. I don't normally respond to blogs, but this one really captured my attention. As a female I am "aware" of the struggle that men face visually, but I am realizing that just being "aware" isn't enough. Thank you for being honest ans openly expressing how prominent this struggle is for most if not all men. Girls don't always realize this true struggle as you have revealed it today. Well, at least I wasn't. Often girls (including myself) struggle with the issue of their own self image. We think that we aren't good enough. So, it doesn't matter how we look or dress, because we believe "what guy would look at me, much less look upon me with lustful thoughts." Now, this doesn't excuse our dress when it is not modest and pleasing to God. Girls do seek attention from males. It validates us when we are given attention, but it is important for us to seek the right attention. The attention from males that the Lord would have us to seek. And, that is that they(men) are more concerned with how we look on the inside. What our relationship is with Christ. What are our convictions, and how is He working in and through our lives. Not, the sinful physical attention that we seek from them. The kind the world tells us we need. God created women to be captivating for men, but not in a sinful manner. We(females) need not to be stumbling blocks to guys with our own issue of our sin, but to be an encouragement to them by our dress and actions that we desire them to be pure. Thanks for the reminder and lesson. This has been very insightful. I don’t normally respond to blogs, but this one really captured my attention. As a female I am “aware” of the struggle that men face visually, but I am realizing that just being “aware” isn’t enough. Thank you for being honest ans openly expressing how prominent this struggle is for most if not all men. Girls don’t always realize this true struggle as you have revealed it today. Well, at least I wasn’t. Often girls (including myself) struggle with the issue of their own self image. We think that we aren’t good enough. So, it doesn’t matter how we look or dress, because we believe “what guy would look at me, much less look upon me with lustful thoughts.” Now, this doesn’t excuse our dress when it is not modest and pleasing to God. Girls do seek attention from males. It validates us when we are given attention, but it is important for us to seek the right attention. The attention from males that the Lord would have us to seek. And, that is that they(men) are more concerned with how we look on the inside. What our relationship is with Christ. What are our convictions, and how is He working in and through our lives. Not, the sinful physical attention that we seek from them. The kind the world tells us we need. God created women to be captivating for men, but not in a sinful manner. We(females) need not to be stumbling blocks to guys with our own issue of our sin, but to be an encouragement to them by our dress and actions that we desire them to be pure. Thanks for the reminder and lesson.

]]> By: Joe http://www.ipopculture.net/2009/07/my-letter-to-girls/comment-page-1/#comment-1241 Joe Tue, 07 Jul 2009 03:22:14 +0000 http://www.ipopculture.net/?p=841#comment-1241 Hi David! Okay, long, long response - you don't have to approve this, but the following passage was absolutely revolutionary for me and I thought I'd share it with you because it's been the most helpful advice on this subject I've received. It's from John Eldredge's book, "The Way of the Wild Heart". "Now I know - beauty is dangerous stuff. Especially The Beauty. As Dostoevsky warned, "Beauty is mysterious as well as terrible. God and the devil are fighting there, and the battlefield is the heart of man." He may have meant mankind, but you and I well know the battle over beauty is terrible in the heart of a man. It goes without saying that there is something in the soul of a man that makes him profoundly vunerable to The Beauty. Every man knows this, knows the breathtaking allure of a woman's form. I'll be flipping through some adventure magazine and whoa - there is a beauty and she stirs something in my heart. Vunerable doesn't quite describe it. Powerless draws us a bit nearer the condition. "Over the ages men have handled this in basically one of two ways - surrender, or discipline. Surrender can be subtle, as when we let her in, when we allow ourselves to entertain the Beauty even though she is not ours. The lingering glance, the opening of our hearts to her. It can be blatant...The damage is terrible, and many good men therefore choose discipline. Force yourself to look away, busy yourself with other things, fight it tooth and nail. Which is certainly better than surrender...But discipline without healing doesn't work real well over time, and it can do great damage to our hearts, which begin to feel like the enemy so we'll do what we can to kill them in order to avert disaster. "There is another way. The way of holiness and healing, and it involves what we do in that very moment, when our hearts are stirred by a Beauty. God and the devil were doing battle over my heart...and this is what I wrote in my journal: O merciful God, come to me in this place, this very place in my heart. I give this to you. I choose you over Eve. I choose your love and friendship and beauty. I give my aching and longing and vulnerable heart to you. Come, and heal me here. Sanctify me. Make me whole and holy in this very place. I prayed it over and over, day and night. Whole, and holy. That is what we need. When it comes to emotional entanglements, it might be good to ask yourself, "What girlfriends broke my heart?" And, "What have I done with that?"...Some of you men are still in an emotional tie with a woman you knew years ago. You must let her go - along with any photos, letters, mementos you are hanging on to...But you do not let her go with cynicism or resignation. You give that hurt place in your heart to God, invite him to bring healing and holiness. "And then there are the sexual issues, the holiness we need deep in our sexuality...Sometimes we have to be very specific to find the cleansing and relief we long for, going back and renouncing specific events, inviting the blood of Christ to cleanse our every sin away, that our sexuality may be made holy. "And then there is the "live moment," when a beautiful woman crosses our path in person or an image of some sort, and our hearts are stirred. How we handle that moment is critical. We do not surrender, we do not kill the longing. We give that very place over to Christ. That place in your heart, right there, right then, give to Jesus. Awakened by a beauty, we give that part of our hearts to God. This will take some time, and many repetitions. We've given it over to the woman so many times before, there is much recovering to be done. Again? Yes, again and again and again. That is how we are healed, made whole and holy and strong. "Finally, we must open our hearts to all the other ways God is bringing beauty into our lives. The beauty of a flower garden or moonlight on water, the beauty of music or a written word. Our souls crave Beauty, and if we do not find it we will be famished. We must take in Beauty often, or we will be taken out by beauty." Hi David! Okay, long, long response – you don’t have to approve this, but the following passage was absolutely revolutionary for me and I thought I’d share it with you because it’s been the most helpful advice on this subject I’ve received. It’s from John Eldredge’s book, “The Way of the Wild Heart”.

“Now I know – beauty is dangerous stuff. Especially The Beauty. As Dostoevsky warned, “Beauty is mysterious as well as terrible. God and the devil are fighting there, and the battlefield is the heart of man.” He may have meant mankind, but you and I well know the battle over beauty is terrible in the heart of a man. It goes without saying that there is something in the soul of a man that makes him profoundly vunerable to The Beauty. Every man knows this, knows the breathtaking allure of a woman’s form. I’ll be flipping through some adventure magazine and whoa – there is a beauty and she stirs something in my heart. Vunerable doesn’t quite describe it. Powerless draws us a bit nearer the condition.

“Over the ages men have handled this in basically one of two ways – surrender, or discipline. Surrender can be subtle, as when we let her in, when we allow ourselves to entertain the Beauty even though she is not ours. The lingering glance, the opening of our hearts to her. It can be blatant…The damage is terrible, and many good men therefore choose discipline. Force yourself to look away, busy yourself with other things, fight it tooth and nail. Which is certainly better than surrender…But discipline without healing doesn’t work real well over time, and it can do great damage to our hearts, which begin to feel like the enemy so we’ll do what we can to kill them in order to avert disaster.

“There is another way. The way of holiness and healing, and it involves what we do in that very moment, when our hearts are stirred by a Beauty. God and the devil were doing battle over my heart…and this is what I wrote in my journal:
O merciful God, come to me in this place, this very place in my heart. I give this to you. I choose you over Eve. I choose your love and friendship and beauty. I give my aching and longing and vulnerable heart to you. Come, and heal me here. Sanctify me. Make me whole and holy in this very place.
I prayed it over and over, day and night. Whole, and holy. That is what we need. When it comes to emotional entanglements, it might be good to ask yourself, “What girlfriends broke my heart?” And, “What have I done with that?”…Some of you men are still in an emotional tie with a woman you knew years ago. You must let her go – along with any photos, letters, mementos you are hanging on to…But you do not let her go with cynicism or resignation. You give that hurt place in your heart to God, invite him to bring healing and holiness.

“And then there are the sexual issues, the holiness we need deep in our sexuality…Sometimes we have to be very specific to find the cleansing and relief we long for, going back and renouncing specific events, inviting the blood of Christ to cleanse our every sin away, that our sexuality may be made holy.

“And then there is the “live moment,” when a beautiful woman crosses our path in person or an image of some sort, and our hearts are stirred. How we handle that moment is critical. We do not surrender, we do not kill the longing. We give that very place over to Christ. That place in your heart, right there, right then, give to Jesus. Awakened by a beauty, we give that part of our hearts to God. This will take some time, and many repetitions. We’ve given it over to the woman so many times before, there is much recovering to be done. Again? Yes, again and again and again. That is how we are healed, made whole and holy and strong.

“Finally, we must open our hearts to all the other ways God is bringing beauty into our lives. The beauty of a flower garden or moonlight on water, the beauty of music or a written word. Our souls crave Beauty, and if we do not find it we will be famished. We must take in Beauty often, or we will be taken out by beauty.”

]]> By: Katie http://www.ipopculture.net/2009/07/my-letter-to-girls/comment-page-1/#comment-1240 Katie Tue, 07 Jul 2009 03:18:56 +0000 http://www.ipopculture.net/?p=841#comment-1240 Thanks for the honesty and for "going there" when so many want to avoid the scantily clad elephant in the room. I am a mother of three girls who are taught early and often about the role they play in this battle. I love how Jeff stated it. We need to teach our daughters the difference between a road block and a stumbling block. Thanks for the honesty and for “going there” when so many want to avoid the scantily clad elephant in the room. I am a mother of three girls who are taught early and often about the role they play in this battle. I love how Jeff stated it. We need to teach our daughters the difference between a road block and a stumbling block.

]]> By: Jeff http://www.ipopculture.net/2009/07/my-letter-to-girls/comment-page-1/#comment-1236 Jeff Mon, 06 Jul 2009 20:48:32 +0000 http://www.ipopculture.net/?p=841#comment-1236 I agree 100% and hopefully my agreement will add support to the idea that it is a universal problem, not just one guy (it's at least 2). Thanks for the honesty. It is our problem, our sin, but we sure could use some road blocks instead of stumbling blocks. Who said guys won't ask for help? I agree 100% and hopefully my agreement will add support to the idea that it is a universal problem, not just one guy (it’s at least 2). Thanks for the honesty. It is our problem, our sin, but we sure could use some road blocks instead of stumbling blocks. Who said guys won’t ask for help?

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