Going to Prom = SIN?!?!?
Author: DavidJones // Category: Ethics, Pop Culture, The Church, Youth Culture
[Editor's note: The first time this was posted, some of the information was deleted accidentally, changing the tone and views of the post. The following is the updated post]
By now, many of you have probably heard the story of Tyler Frost, a 17 year old from Findlay Ohio. If you haven’t, here’s what USAToday.com wrote:
Officials at Heritage Christian School in Findlay had warned 17-year-old Tyler Frost that he would be suspended and prohibited from attending graduation if he went to the public school dance over the weekend with his girlfriend.
Frost says he didn’t think going to the dance was wrong even though his fundamentalist Baptist school Ohio forbids dancing, rock music and hand-holding.
Frost didn’t go to school Monday. Instead, he and his girlfriend are heading to New York for a Tuesday morning TV interview.
The teen says he’s now getting Facebook and e-mail messages from around the world.
This story is on front page of USAToday.com. Although many may just look at the story and dismiss it as “dumb,” this is another black eye given to Christians. I know we can’t judge everyone based on this story, but this is what the world is seeing.
It seems like we go to 2 extremes. Last week a ruckus occurred because explicit pictures of Carrie Prejean aka Miss California hit the web. She came out and announced she’s a Christian and a model, and since modeling is her profession, there’s nothing wrong with modeling in swim wear and lingerie. Obviously, she hasn’t been able to make the connection between faith and life.
Now we have a story of the other extreme. A school is taking action against a student for attending a prom because the school is against dancing, rock music, and hand-holding (one of these things is not like the other…). The school is making national headlines by threatening to suspend the student and prohibit him for attending graduation.
Let me make one point clear: I believe a private institution has every right enforce restrictions on students. Students are not forced to go to a private school; it’s a choice. When you choose to attend a private school, you choose to obey their rules. I attended a college that enforced rules I did not necessarily agree with. However, by choosing to attend, I agreed to abide by those rules. Even the New York Yankees have restrictions played on their players. If you play for the Yankees, you are not allowed to have facial hair (apparently steroids is allowed though). Some people think the rule is crazy, but it’s their rule. If you want to play for the Yankees, no facial hair. My problem is that some articles have reported that the school views rock music, dancing, and hand holding as sin. Placing restrictions on students is one thing; calling out sin without providing sound biblical reasoning is another.
It’s sad, but this is how the world sees Christianity. The world sees people like Carrie Prejean and automatically assumes the church is full of hypocrites. This is why movies liked Saved garner so much national attention. This is why we need to understand how God’s truth should shape our lives. This is why we need to personalize our faith and not just rely on “because I said so” answers. So many teenagers drop out of church and turn away from God after leaving high school. Why? Clearly they haven’t understood the need for truth and life to intersect.
Tags: Findlay, graduation, Heritage Christian School, Ohio, Prom, suspended, Tyler Frost
May 11th, 2009 at 3:58 pm
I go to a Christian school run by a strict fundamental independent baptist church.
They hold the same policy as the school mentioned in the article. Personally, I don’t think the school should have jurisdiction over whether or not a student goes to prom. i think it should be under the parents’ discretion.
May 11th, 2009 at 4:44 pm
I should probably clarify a bit. If a school doesn’t want to have a “dance” or allow certain types of music in the school, I’m fine with that. I think the school has that right. If they consider hand-holding during school hours or school events to be PDA, I’m okay with them making a rule against that. I have a problem when a school goes above their right and puts certain restrictions on students that have nothing to do with the school or the law. Teenage drinking is one thing…but being told dancing, rock music, and hand-holding is a sin is quite another thing. Suspending a student pushes it even further.
May 11th, 2009 at 6:14 pm
quite a funny little deal you have here. I grew up in a home where my father considered dancing a sin and would not pay for us to go to these dances, nor would he allow us to go. that is until we were 18 then it was up to us. as a person who has grown up in the 90′s i see nothing wrong with dancing wether your doin the “soulja Boy”, the “YMCA”, or the ever favorite “Coton-eye Joe” I did however after going to my first dance have a problem with “Grinding” or the act of getting a lil. too close and making it seem as though your doing something other than dancing. this story however again just shows how people who claim Christianity mess things up for those who LIVE a Christian lifestyle. Personally i think the school is wrong and agree that it is no business of the schools what a student does off school property. i mean how diud they know he went to prom did they stock him(invasion of Privacy),or did another student go to Prom Too?? i mean really how did they find out. i mean unless the child was comitting a crime the school has no say really in what the child does off-campus.
P.S. im a wicked good dancer ;)
May 13th, 2009 at 9:02 am
I agree with almost everything you said, but I think you have to be kind of careful with a statement like, “I have a problem when a school goes above their right and puts certain restrictions on students that have nothing to do with the school or the law.” When a private school accepts a student, they’re effectively investing in that student in the hope that he/she will reflect well on that school. Just to stir the pot a little bit, would you have a problem if that school prohibited the student from attending a rally for the National Socialist Party? What about a pro-abortion rally? Neither would be illegal, and both would obviously be worse in the eyes of the private school than a public school prom, but do you think the private school would be in a position to suspend the student if he chose to attend one of those events?
May 13th, 2009 at 10:52 am
I have an interesting twist to add to this story. I have actually met the priciple of this school. He is from the church where I currently serve. I totally agree that schools should not interfere with many things that go on off of school property. Not that they should not care and try to influence students, just that those things are not in their jurisdiction. On the other hand this young man and his parents did sign a rule book saying they would obey these rules (and yes the prom situation was explicitely stated in the rule book). I do not think the school should interfere in these areas, but there is something that should be said about those that agree to follow rules no matter how dumb they are.
I think leagalism is the big issue here. When I heard about it, I was much more upset at the school (and the former member of my church) than at the teen. I would never allow my kids (not that I have any yet) to attend a school where rules were the most important thing. I would rather them have to fight against postmodernism every day than legalism. I may be wrong, but if I was asked which of these was causing (or has caused) the bigger problem for the Church I would say without a doubt it is legalism
May 13th, 2009 at 2:08 pm
It’s just like at FWBBC, David. If it were a public school, the school couldn’t pull this kind of garbage, but since it is a private school, the student has agreed to go there and abide by the rules. He’s choosing not to.
Do I think it’s ridiculous? Yes, of course. I also thought a lot of rules at FWBBC were over the top. A school shouldn’t be able to control what a student does when off campus or not at school-sponsored events, but since it’s a choice for the student to attend, they can.
Seriously, though, not letting a kid walk b/c he went to a prom is flat out crazy. Definitely legalism at its finest.
May 13th, 2009 at 2:13 pm
Great comments. Thanks for the insight Patrick.
Jill, there is a difference between that school and FWBBC though. At FWBBC we agreed that we wouldn’t do things like go to movies, stay out past a certain curfew, etc. while we were students. However, the school made it VERY clear they were not trying to tell us those things were sinful. They never once said going to a movie was sinful; they only asked us to refrain from going while attending the school.
May 18th, 2009 at 5:38 pm
David,
As a Christian school administrator I have had to deal with several situations similar to this one. I would like to discuss a few of the statements you made in order to gain a more complete knowledge of your opinions regarding this issue, but feel that it would be best to do so in a more private manner. I could not locate your email address so if you could contact me I would greatly appreciate it.
You can read the school’s official statement on their website:
http://www.heritagefindlay.org/
May 20th, 2009 at 2:19 pm
David – agreed. I didn’t read that the school told him it was a sin. Sorry!