Comments on: Modesty…What Guys REALLY Think

By: Stephanie McVay

Stephanie McVay — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 23:06:06 +0000

I think every man and woman needs to read the books “For Women Only” and “For Men Only” by Shaunti Feldhan (I think I spelled her name right). I’ve only read the one for women so far, but it was very eye-opening for me. I knew that guys struggled in this area, but I didn’t have a clue the extent of it until I read this book. The books are written from a Christian perspective and they are about lots of things, not just this. But to all the ladies out there, this book is an excellent way to help us understand a little better what guys are going through. And guys, from what I’ve heard, the book for guys is also excellent. One of my aunts gives those books as wedding/engagement presents. She says for the couple to each read the one written for them, and then to trade and read the one for the other person. That way you can talk about it later and say “Well this is exactly like me, and this is nothing like me” or whatever. Anyway, just a thought!

By: Hannah

Hannah — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 20:47:21 +0000

I’ve heard from males that if guys stare longer than 3 seconds they’re probably thinking something they shouldn’t…. do you agree?
A friend went to a camp where the counselors discussed rules the week before camp started and that was one of them – that guys weren’t allowed to look at the girls for longer than 3 seconds – the male counselors came up with the rule. The camp was specifically geared towards bringing teens for a week of as much focus on Christ as possible – not the opposite sex. It was extremely successful and not a FWB camp believe it or not.

By: Clint

Clint — Sun, 26 Apr 2009 23:34:58 +0000

David, thank you for bringing a little attention to this topic. I do think some girls simply do not understand how much some men struggle in this area, so when a girl who wants to do right sees a survey like this it should help here evaluate her dress better and make the proper changes.

By: DavidJones

DavidJones — Fri, 24 Apr 2009 19:25:34 +0000

Jeremy, check out the link to the survey. I only put a very small percentage of what was on it. The survey wasn’t to bash girls or guys. It’s a study of everything you can think of. Check it out.

By: Jeremy

Jeremy — Fri, 24 Apr 2009 16:57:39 +0000

Josh, excellent point. Modesty is partially cultural. Showing the ankle was a stumbling block for Victorian men, however I do not if anyone has a problem with it today, although Im surprised they didnt ask in that survey.

Sometimes we put such an emphasis on what is forbidden, that we desire it just because we know we’re not suppose to. Its like if all of a sudden I repeatedly told you DONT EAT CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES. May not have even thought of eating a chocolate chip cookie but now you want one

By: Joshua Raposo

Joshua Raposo — Fri, 24 Apr 2009 04:42:16 +0000

I think this is a great topic. But what is “modest”? Are we right on this? In the Victorian Age it was commonplace for women to have a lot of cleavage showing and sometimes so much that a portion of the nipple would be showing. That wasn’t frowned upon, but the ankle was considered something that needs to be covered like we require breasts(female) to be covered today. So are we right today or were they right in the Victorian Age? If you show a kid two toys and tell him he can’t see they toy hidden in the cabinet what we’ll the kid want to see? We are drawn to what we can’t see. I’m not advocating we become nudists, but sometimes we can put too much into what skin is right or wrong. Some of it’s even gender related. It’s not considered okay for men to have the upper arm showing in church, but it’s fine for women to have it exposed. We have made every body part sexual through our own actions, not God’s. A woman’s breasts are not sexual organs, but we have made them into that over time. I find it somewhat funny that a 3 year old girl has to wear a bikini top when 350lb. men walk around the beach with C cup size man boobs exposed.

By: HannahP

HannahP — Fri, 24 Apr 2009 03:27:47 +0000

3 points:
1. Let me just say that I hate square butts and BK.

2. I was thinking today about the clothing of women in Jerusalem in oh I don’t know when Jesus was 30. He addresses the issue of lust even with a culture where women were immodest without head covering. Quite extreme parallel with today’s culture and lust…

3. People may make fun of other people who wear long jean skirts and extremely conservative clothing, but they may have the right idea. The guys and girls in that culture come across as naive, but I guarantee it’s all worth it when they marry somebody who has never seen another person in the same way. Maybe our contemporary modifications and keeping up with culture has put us in a bind. We’re trying to live holy lives surrounding ourselves with unholy things, even just shorts.

Jeremy, haven’t you seen even shampoo commercials where a fully clothed woman is reaching back to run her fingers through her hair… the commercial uses a woman stretching to pull in the male audience… they want it to be sensual and it usually is… as innocent as it sounds.

By: DavidJones

DavidJones — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 19:49:43 +0000

EXACTLY!

We will all be held responsible.

Girls will have to answer for not glorifying God with their clothing and being a stumbling block to guys.

Guys will have to answer for lust.

Obviously, we can mix and match those sins with both genders, but the point is clear. Each person is responsible for his or her own sin. Since we all struggle with sin, we need to do our part by helping our depraved brothers and sisters in the battle.

By: Jeremy

Jeremy — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 19:45:16 +0000

We can pass the blame back and forth all day long, but when we stand before the Throne, it comes down to personal responsibility and holiness of your own mind. “She should have dressed better” or “She shouldn’t have stretched with her chest pointing out” or whatever else will not be a valid excuse. She will have to answer for her sin, but it does not cancel out your lust.

By: DavidJones

DavidJones — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 19:36:20 +0000

It didn’t just say when a girl stretches. There was more detail to it:

“Seeing a girl stretching (e.g. arching the back, reaching the arms back, and sticking out the chest) is a stumbling block.”

If guys are being open and honest about something that makes them lust, I don’t think you can call it ridiculous. This survey was not saying it’s a sin for girls to stretch…it was just informing people about something that can be a stumbling block for 56.8% of the guys that answered.

Yes, the responsibility falls on guys to keep their minds pure, their eyes off things they shouldn’t be on, and to have self-control. But, females do play a role in the whole ordeal as well.