Comments on: Why It’s Hard to Like Christians

By: Deborah the p.k.

Deborah the p.k. — Wed, 17 Sep 2008 21:10:42 +0000

I work at Chickfila (so I don’t work on Sundays) but we get church groups at the mall all the time and they bring some very rude customers. I don’t know why, but the church crowd tends to talk down to teen cashiers and argue about the food.
It takes a lot for me to say the required “My pleasure” to those people, lol.

I was at the Nationals in Charlestown (in Truth and Peace actually) and I told the manager at the food court Chickfila how awesome their employees were doing, Montana (a cashier) in particular. They were great and efficient!

Good post!

By: Jean

Jean — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 19:17:15 +0000

Wow, David. I agree with you completely. I have been in so many places where Christians come in and act like Pharisees. “Look at me, see how righteous I am, I am a CHRISTIAN, therefore, I am better than you.” It is a personna that I don’t want to associate with. I’m probably a little like Stephanie in that I would hesitate to confront someone, but it is time for our self-righteous brothers to be confronted.

My children worked in the public arena where their wages depended on tips. Church folks were lousy tippers. Why is that? Why do they feel it is their responsibility to be demeaning to the individuals waiting on them, trying to serve them? I have been embarassed many times over the behavior of a “Christian” in a public place. While I have not been confrontational with the offending person, I have gone back and apologized for their behavior, simply because they didn’t have enough sense to behave as Jesus would have them behave.

It is time for us to get back to the WWJD attitude. If we each asked ourselves that every time we were in public, our behavior (all Christians) would change radically.

By: Stephanie McVay

Stephanie McVay — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 20:37:44 +0000

I don’t disagree with you, Joe. I agree! I guess I just stink at confrontation, so I’m trying to figure out what I need to do. Do I try to do the confronting, and pray it will go well, as utterly uncomfortable as I may be with the situation (knowing that you have to get out of your comfort zone sometimes)? In the meantime, I think the relationship-building is something we should be doing anyway, and those we build relationships with will hopefully get the added bonus of seeing true Christianity in the flesh. Anyway, I do agree with you, I just don’t know if I would be the one to confront someone (whether I should or not)…

By: Joe

Joe — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 00:28:49 +0000

Stephanie – I really think Jesus is the model here. Aside from the money changers instance, Jesus confronts the religious leaders who are going to stone the woman for adultery, he confronts the religious leaders who think that a man has been blind due to sin, he confronts Peter, and he even puts his own family in their place when they want him to stop what he’s doing and come talk to them.

I’m not saying that we confront in a spirit of anger, but we (Christians) are a family. If my sister does something that reflects poorly on my family name or me should I complain about her behind her back or post something on a website hoping she’ll read it? It would be better to confront her out of love and love for the family in a spirit of unity.

Most of Paul’s letters directly address beliefs, teachings and actions that are happening in the church that are hurting the church’s witness. Paul even names names in his letters. What if Paul had concluded that the problem was just too big to solve? What if he had concluded that the people in the churches may overreact so it’s probably best to do nothing but pray for them?

I think that it would send a powerful message to the world if we held each other accountable. If we saw a person proclaiming Christ one minute and the next berating an fast food worker and we confronted the person in love, and they apologized to the fast food worker for their actions, wouldn’t that send an awesome message?

By not saying anything we have given the enemy a victory. A fast food worker thinks that the Christian is a hypocrite, and we sow dissension by telling others what we saw and how horrible it was (and I’m sure if we knew who it was we’d spill that to).

Don’t get me wrong – I think relationships can be great tools, but I think we have a deeper responsibility than that.

By: Scott

Scott — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 22:43:24 +0000

I remember a great restaurant in Donelson that was closed on Sundays. Their reason- none of the servers wanted to work because church people tip so poorly. I say if you don’t have enough money to leave a 15-20% tip, you don’t have enough money to eat out.

By: Stephanie McVay

Stephanie McVay — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 21:28:37 +0000

David, I think your examples were excellent (John Edwards, Jose Canseco). I just wanted to say thank for this. I get so sad when I see Christians acting this way, and I agree with Joe that we need to do something about it. The hard part is knowing what to do about it. This kind of behavior from so-called Christians is rampant in our world, and it seems like an impossible task. I don’t think it’s wrong for David to apologize to those who have had these experiences with so-called Christians–what if no one ever took the time to explain to them that true Christians are not that way? Or to build a relationship with them, as Jacob suggested? At the very least, maybe they will read this blog and have a little more insight. I’m not sure that confronting these people is the best way to do it–I feel like most people wouldn’t take confrontation very well. It’s not likely they will see the black eye they are placing on the name of Christians everywhere. I think Jacob is exactly right, that building relationships is the way to go. But anyway, thanks for the blog, David!

By: Joe

Joe — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 18:56:09 +0000

I understand that we can’t explain the process of becoming like Christ to non-Christians, but we also don’t need to go around apologizing for things that we didn’t do.

In the last couple of weeks I’ve read blog posts and comments from Christians witnessing other Christians perform in a way that was not Christ-like, yet there’s no confrontation mentioned. We have Christian’s witnessing another Christian do something that is wrong and no one says a thing to that person in the moment? No one calls them out?

While I understand that we may feel horrible watching it happen or hearing about it, an apology means nothing unless it comes from the person doing the harming. I have a 4 year old son and if my son hits another kid at school it’s pretty meaningless for me to apologize to the kid on his behalf. It’s best if I catch my son in the act, show him how his actions have caused harm to someone else and have him apologize.

If we truly think that Christians behaving badly is making us look bad, then it’s time to address it. When Jesus goes into the temple and sees the money changers he doesn’t seek out the people that were ripped off and apologize to them. He takes a whip and drives the money changers from the temple.

By: Hannah

Hannah — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 05:15:41 +0000

I agree with Jacob. That’s all.

By: Jacob

Jacob — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 20:49:41 +0000

Also I’d like to say something in response to Joe.

It’s true, Joe, that Christianity is a process, but we can’t expect unbelievers to understand that. It doesn’t matter one iota to the cashier or waiter that “we’re being sanctified.” All they know is that that guy, who said he was a Christian (and one who is a leader of other Christians, possibly several since he was at NAFWB convention) was rude or wasn’t as generous as the guy who didn’t claim to be a Christian.

By: Jacob

Jacob — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 20:45:38 +0000

Hey I saw that lady at Wendy’s too.

I think it boils down to actually meeting and befriending people outside of the faith.

It’s easy to stereotype someone if you don’t know anyone in that demographic. So if someone doesn’t know many Christians, then they have no reason not to believe what the media says.

If I’m friends (even just acquaintances) with the guy that works at the gas station and I’m friendly with him, then he won’t think all Christians are jerks when he meets one pastor who thinks the paper is priced too high. He’ll say, “That guy was a jerk, but Jacob’s a Christian, and he’s not a jerk. So at least all Christians aren’t like that.”

But like I said, if we don’t know any unbelievers, then they have to rely on public opinion.