I don’t like Christians. Sorry, but it’s true. Not all Christians, but some Christians. Why? Well…
Several weeks ago, I was in Charleston, West Virginia for the National Association of Free Will Baptists. If you’re not sure what this is, just imagine 6,000 Baptists all crammed into one convention center and occupying all of the hotels and restaurants within a 5 mile radius.
Located just minutes from the convention center was a food court, placed conveniently in the middle of the mall. One of the staff members of the convention decided to ask an employee of Chik-Fil-A just how everything had been going. The gist of the employee’s response: “Well, so far the teenagers here have been great; it’s the adults we’ve been having problems with.”
Later on in that week, some staff members from the same convention asked a waitress at Chile’s how things had gone that week. Her response: “Well, the tips haven’t really been so great.”
And thus, just a few examples of what it can be hard to like Christians. I’m not talking just from society’s point of view, I’m speaking from my personal point of view. Sure I love them, but I have a really difficult time liking “Christians.”
Talk to a valet of a hotel sometime. Ask them about their best nights and their worst nights. You are guaranteed to hear that some of their worst nights occur when Christian organizations come to town. I have friends who are Christians who don’t even want to work when Christian groups come to their hotels. They already know their tips will consist of nothing more than a handshake or maybe some loose change.
Aside from the money, Christians have been stereotyped as judgmental, obnoxious, and mean-spirited. Several months ago I was at Wendy’s and I saw a lady demean an employee because they wouldn’t reuse a hamburger that had already been sold and had the wrong condiments on it. Who cares about policy? The lady was fussing about starving children and this and that and caused a scene in the restaurant. The sad part…her shirt read “Jesus.”
Now you may be confused. You might be wondering, “But wait, aren’t you a Christian?” The truth is, yes I am and I am not ashamed to express what I believe or who I believe in. However, I am ashamed when a fellow (so called) Christian makes a mark on society that says “Please throw me into the stereotype!”
We may want to try to ignore the stereotypes, but stereotypes exist because of a reason. In many cases, perceived truth is just as important as the actual truth.
So where am I going with this? Well, for starters, let me start by saying I’m sorry. I want to apologize to anyone who has faced the wrath, judgmental attitude, cheapskate mentality, obnoxious behavior, or self-absorbed syndrome of a (so called) Christian. I’m sorry those people have hurt you, left an impression on you, furthered a stereotype in your head or in the media, and I’m especially sorry those people ever left their houses or opened their mouths.
(I also want to apologize for cheesy church signs, t-shirts, and cheers…but that’s a completely different blog.)
For those of you who have experienced all of that mess, I am truly sorry. But let me make this clear: those are not the qualities of a true Christian/follower of Christ. Would I call those people hypocrites? Well, that’s not for me to decide. But I would like you to hear me out…
Christianity cannot be stereotyped by those people. Yes, it’s true, those people have stereotyped the Christian movement, but that is not what following Christ is about.
Think about this: News recently broke that John Edwards had an extramarital affair. When that story came out, it was a black eye for the Democratic party. However, did Edwards’ actions characterize the entire Democratic party? No.
Take a look at Major League Baseball. Jose Canseco admitted to steroid use. There has been a lot of suspicion in baseball concerning steroids. Critics even say we are living in the “Steroid Era.” However, to say all baseball players are currently cheating and using steroids would be an incorrect statement. Sure, there are some who have cheated their way into the game and done things that have disrupted people’s thoughts of baseball. And, the people who cause the most trouble seem to get the most publicity and attention. However, as far as we know, the majority of players are clean and play the game with honesty and integrity.
Is the church filled with hypocrites? The common man would probably say yes. Will I argue that? Actually, no. But I can say this: Please don’t judge true believers by what you see on television or by the individuals who standout because of their selfish manners.
True Christianity is about following Christ, not people. Anyone can attach any kind of label to his or her name. If you want to be a Christian, you can put that title on. If you want to be a Buddhist, you can attach that. If you want to be a Libertarian, you can add that on as well.
However, true Christianity is not about attaching a label to you name. It’s about following the example of Christ and aiming to live a life that is holy. It has nothing to do with following the ways or examples of man. People will fail you, let you down, and even make a fool of themselves. But Christ provides the ultimate example.
So once again, to those of you who have experienced the ruckus caused by (so called) Christians, I am sorry. But what you’ve seen is really no example of what a Christian is.
And to those of you who call yourselves Christians and use that title as nothing more than a label, please don’t leave your house or even open your mouth. And most of all, NEVER tell anyone you’re a Christian!
Tags: Chik-Fil-A, Chiles, Christians, Free Will Baptist, Hypocrites, John Edwards, Jose Canseco, steroids
August 15th, 2008 at 2:53 pm
I understand that there are some bad representatives of Christianity, but apologizing on their behalf? I think that’s unnecessary. Being a Christian does not equal instant perfection – it signals that people are at various points in a journey – some more mature than others.
August 15th, 2008 at 2:58 pm
By no means am I apologizing on their behalf. I’m apologizing to the people who have been victims of the games some Christians play. And I completely understand that the Christian life is about a journey and many times baby steps have to be taken in that journey. I wasn’t referring to new Christians at all. The sad part is, most of the ranting I’ve seen and experienced has been from pastors who have been at their position for 20+ years and think the world or just the cashier at Chik-Fil-A owe them something in return.
August 15th, 2008 at 3:58 pm
I agree with the situation. I was at Nationals (The in foodcourt of the mall) waiting in the line for my food when I noticed the cashier look like she was about to cry. I knew exactly how she felt, I use to work at a fastfood restraunt, unfortunately on Sunday sometimes, and I then realized why people dread “the sunday church crowd”. These people I know and go to school with that claim to be Christians would come in and be rude, talk down to us and just plain mean. In fact one day a church-going lady actually yelled at me and made me cry. The worst customers we ever hd were professed Christians.
August 15th, 2008 at 6:00 pm
Yeah, but there’s the old saying in sports that applies here, “Practice doesn’t make perfect – perfect practice makes perfect.”
Years really mean very little when it comes to spiritual maturity. Think Peter – cussed out a servant girl that he didn’t know Jesus. Not exactly the best representative, but Christ didn’t send John to go apologize. He dealt with Peter’s heart.
August 16th, 2008 at 12:30 am
Good post. It is sad to hear the negative connotation so many people have for Christians because of bad experiences they’ve had with a few. Actions speak so loud, which I think we tend to forget sometimes in our daily lives. There are many wonderful people following God and I hope the world will take notice of them also. There is room to be human but rude and everything else on that list is not included!
(Props to my dad for not letting me end up in the bad-tipping group out of sheer ignorance…)
August 17th, 2008 at 3:10 pm
In our society today it is so easy to use the label “Christian.” I’ve met a lot of people, especially teenagers in my own high school who when asked if they are a Christian they say, “yeah I’m a Christian,” but there is no evidence of Christ in their life. Some of these people who proclaim to be Chrisians have never really attended church or anything church related. These so-called Christians tend to put a “black eye” on Christianity as a whole in our society. This makes it hard for genuine Christians to overcome the stereotype.
In our society, Christian means different things to different people. It’s easy to get wrapped up in the label and not exemplify any fruit. As Christians we are to be like Christ but as you said in your blog, we are usually self-absorbed and tend to forget who we are representing. If we are going to let it be known that we are Christians, it’s so important to watch our actions everywhere in everything we do and let our actions show God’s love.
August 18th, 2008 at 3:45 pm
Hey I saw that lady at Wendy’s too.
I think it boils down to actually meeting and befriending people outside of the faith.
It’s easy to stereotype someone if you don’t know anyone in that demographic. So if someone doesn’t know many Christians, then they have no reason not to believe what the media says.
If I’m friends (even just acquaintances) with the guy that works at the gas station and I’m friendly with him, then he won’t think all Christians are jerks when he meets one pastor who thinks the paper is priced too high. He’ll say, “That guy was a jerk, but Jacob’s a Christian, and he’s not a jerk. So at least all Christians aren’t like that.”
But like I said, if we don’t know any unbelievers, then they have to rely on public opinion.
August 18th, 2008 at 3:49 pm
Also I’d like to say something in response to Joe.
It’s true, Joe, that Christianity is a process, but we can’t expect unbelievers to understand that. It doesn’t matter one iota to the cashier or waiter that “we’re being sanctified.” All they know is that that guy, who said he was a Christian (and one who is a leader of other Christians, possibly several since he was at NAFWB convention) was rude or wasn’t as generous as the guy who didn’t claim to be a Christian.
August 19th, 2008 at 12:15 am
I agree with Jacob. That’s all.
August 19th, 2008 at 1:56 pm
I understand that we can’t explain the process of becoming like Christ to non-Christians, but we also don’t need to go around apologizing for things that we didn’t do.
In the last couple of weeks I’ve read blog posts and comments from Christians witnessing other Christians perform in a way that was not Christ-like, yet there’s no confrontation mentioned. We have Christian’s witnessing another Christian do something that is wrong and no one says a thing to that person in the moment? No one calls them out?
While I understand that we may feel horrible watching it happen or hearing about it, an apology means nothing unless it comes from the person doing the harming. I have a 4 year old son and if my son hits another kid at school it’s pretty meaningless for me to apologize to the kid on his behalf. It’s best if I catch my son in the act, show him how his actions have caused harm to someone else and have him apologize.
If we truly think that Christians behaving badly is making us look bad, then it’s time to address it. When Jesus goes into the temple and sees the money changers he doesn’t seek out the people that were ripped off and apologize to them. He takes a whip and drives the money changers from the temple.
August 19th, 2008 at 4:28 pm
David, I think your examples were excellent (John Edwards, Jose Canseco). I just wanted to say thank for this. I get so sad when I see Christians acting this way, and I agree with Joe that we need to do something about it. The hard part is knowing what to do about it. This kind of behavior from so-called Christians is rampant in our world, and it seems like an impossible task. I don’t think it’s wrong for David to apologize to those who have had these experiences with so-called Christians–what if no one ever took the time to explain to them that true Christians are not that way? Or to build a relationship with them, as Jacob suggested? At the very least, maybe they will read this blog and have a little more insight. I’m not sure that confronting these people is the best way to do it–I feel like most people wouldn’t take confrontation very well. It’s not likely they will see the black eye they are placing on the name of Christians everywhere. I think Jacob is exactly right, that building relationships is the way to go. But anyway, thanks for the blog, David!
August 19th, 2008 at 5:43 pm
I remember a great restaurant in Donelson that was closed on Sundays. Their reason- none of the servers wanted to work because church people tip so poorly. I say if you don’t have enough money to leave a 15-20% tip, you don’t have enough money to eat out.
August 19th, 2008 at 7:28 pm
Stephanie – I really think Jesus is the model here. Aside from the money changers instance, Jesus confronts the religious leaders who are going to stone the woman for adultery, he confronts the religious leaders who think that a man has been blind due to sin, he confronts Peter, and he even puts his own family in their place when they want him to stop what he’s doing and come talk to them.
I’m not saying that we confront in a spirit of anger, but we (Christians) are a family. If my sister does something that reflects poorly on my family name or me should I complain about her behind her back or post something on a website hoping she’ll read it? It would be better to confront her out of love and love for the family in a spirit of unity.
Most of Paul’s letters directly address beliefs, teachings and actions that are happening in the church that are hurting the church’s witness. Paul even names names in his letters. What if Paul had concluded that the problem was just too big to solve? What if he had concluded that the people in the churches may overreact so it’s probably best to do nothing but pray for them?
I think that it would send a powerful message to the world if we held each other accountable. If we saw a person proclaiming Christ one minute and the next berating an fast food worker and we confronted the person in love, and they apologized to the fast food worker for their actions, wouldn’t that send an awesome message?
By not saying anything we have given the enemy a victory. A fast food worker thinks that the Christian is a hypocrite, and we sow dissension by telling others what we saw and how horrible it was (and I’m sure if we knew who it was we’d spill that to).
Don’t get me wrong – I think relationships can be great tools, but I think we have a deeper responsibility than that.
August 20th, 2008 at 3:37 pm
I don’t disagree with you, Joe. I agree! I guess I just stink at confrontation, so I’m trying to figure out what I need to do. Do I try to do the confronting, and pray it will go well, as utterly uncomfortable as I may be with the situation (knowing that you have to get out of your comfort zone sometimes)? In the meantime, I think the relationship-building is something we should be doing anyway, and those we build relationships with will hopefully get the added bonus of seeing true Christianity in the flesh. Anyway, I do agree with you, I just don’t know if I would be the one to confront someone (whether I should or not)…
August 28th, 2008 at 2:17 pm
Wow, David. I agree with you completely. I have been in so many places where Christians come in and act like Pharisees. “Look at me, see how righteous I am, I am a CHRISTIAN, therefore, I am better than you.” It is a personna that I don’t want to associate with. I’m probably a little like Stephanie in that I would hesitate to confront someone, but it is time for our self-righteous brothers to be confronted.
My children worked in the public arena where their wages depended on tips. Church folks were lousy tippers. Why is that? Why do they feel it is their responsibility to be demeaning to the individuals waiting on them, trying to serve them? I have been embarassed many times over the behavior of a “Christian” in a public place. While I have not been confrontational with the offending person, I have gone back and apologized for their behavior, simply because they didn’t have enough sense to behave as Jesus would have them behave.
It is time for us to get back to the WWJD attitude. If we each asked ourselves that every time we were in public, our behavior (all Christians) would change radically.
September 17th, 2008 at 4:10 pm
I work at Chickfila (so I don’t work on Sundays) but we get church groups at the mall all the time and they bring some very rude customers. I don’t know why, but the church crowd tends to talk down to teen cashiers and argue about the food.
It takes a lot for me to say the required “My pleasure” to those people, lol.
I was at the Nationals in Charlestown (in Truth and Peace actually) and I told the manager at the food court Chickfila how awesome their employees were doing, Montana (a cashier) in particular. They were great and efficient!
Good post!