Once again it’s time for some absolute randomness taken straight from my sick and twisted mind. Read, laugh, cry, enjoy, comment, don’t collect $200 when passing “Go”:
- If Reese’s wants to promote the new Batman movie, that’s great! I love Batman. I love Reese’s. The new “Reese’s Presents Batman: The Dark Knight” peanut butter cups seem like a great idea…except that all they did was cut part of the peanut butter cup out to make it look like a bat. Not only are you paying the same price, but you’re getting less chocolate and peanut butter! As a guy who loves his peanut butter and chocolate, I will NOT be fooled by this!
- A Yahoo! news headline read something like this:
“Vote of Men May Be Essential to the Election”
Okay, I’m not a rocket scientist by any standard, but doesn’t that statement seem like it should win the “Captain Obvious Award of the Year.” I know what the article is trying to say, but that seems like a rather dumb headline.
- Does Lynne Spears find it weird that her children already have more children than she does?
- It is now cheaper to fill your car with gallons of milk.
- If the NBA Draft was held today…I wouldn’t be drafted.
- Are the flying monkeys from “Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull” available on Ebay?
- How much money does the Incredible Hulk spend on pants each year?
- If Tiger Woods can win the US Open with a broken leg, he could probably beat me in putt-putt in a wheelchair.
- The approval rating for Congress is borderline-any Brendan Fraser movie
- If we really want to torture terrorist suspects, forget waterboarding—Make them watch a full hour of “The View.”
- I have a sneak preview pass to see “Wall-E.” Yeah, that’s not funny. Just wanted to make you jealous!
- The best way to “Punk” somebody: Make them star in a movie with Ashton Kutcher.
- MyCokeRewards became someone else’s Coke Rewards after my Blockbuster Gift Cards were stolen out of the mail.
- When you play “CatchPhrase” with Jared Austin, expect the worst.
- If you love me, send me a card or text…not an invitation to Mob Wars!
- I’m waiting to buy Wii Fit until people realize how lazy they actually are and put it on Ebay for $20.
- “Guitar Hero: Kenny G” might not be a big seller.
- As a 20-something guy living on my own, my grocery shopping habits aren’t the best. Since I nearly ran out of food, I had to eat a box of “Curves” cereal (for women) that came as a trial in the mail. I can honestly say that it’s the first time I’ve hoped the health benefits listed on a box of food were lies!
- You really don’t appreciate “Sippy” cups until you spilled orange juice all over your pants 5 minutes before work.
- Take it from me: The “Macaroni and Cheese” Crayola crayon does NOT taste like real macaroni and cheese! (Those jerks!)
- On the flip side, the “Booger” flavored Jellybelly jellybean…well…yeah…it does.
- Will Timbaland remix his marriage?
- Hey guys-who-don’t-shower, loading up on a can of Axe doesn’t mean you’ve covered your BO. It just means I can never smell that brand of Axe again without getting sick.
- My girlfriend once told me I look like Kevin James from “King of Queens”…OUCH!
Tags: Ashton Kutcher, Hulk, Indiana Jones, NBA, The Dark Knight, Tiger Woods, Wall-E
June 23rd, 2008 at 3:01 pm
1) We weren’t dating when I said it…
2) I couldn’t think of anybody else to say you looked like.. do you even remember the conversation? lol.
3) You’re better looking than he is?
4) I laughed at your blog.. so maybe I meant
5) You’re as funny as Kevin James?
6) I mean funnier?
7) YAY Wall-E!
8) And I thought you were gonna give the curves cereal to me?
9) Jerk!
10) Kidding?
June 23rd, 2008 at 3:09 pm
I think you look more like Chikezie than Kevin James, especially before you lost weight.
Yep. I’m jealous about Wall-E that’s all there is to it. I know a four year old that would really appreciate a free pass.
June 23rd, 2008 at 7:22 pm
I’m jealous, sad, and upset that i will miss Wall-E.
And because of that…i agree with Hannah…
YOU DO LOOK LIKE KEVIN JAMES!!!!
;]
June 23rd, 2008 at 10:47 pm
Things I would like to see:
-Tiger Woods in a wheelchair beating David at putt-putt.
-Wall-E…with David’s tickets.
June 24th, 2008 at 8:24 am
So.. if Jessia gets your ticket, David – I’ll let you know how we like it. :)
(Translation: Jessica, you ain’t gettin mine!)